Greg Sutphin

Preparing to Adopt a Child — Some Things You Need to Consider

If you are planning or considering adoption as a way of starting or building a family, here are some things you’ll want to factor into your decision, especially if you’ve never had a child before.

There’s a lot to learn—Raising a child involves a whole lot more than sitting back and watching them grow. You’ll want to know about developmental landmarks, such as walking and talking, and you’ll want to know as much as you can about proper nutrition, sleep habits and toilet training. Most expectant mothers attend childbirth classes, and similar programs are available for adoptive parents. It’s a good idea to participate in one.
You will likely have to bottle-feed your child—You may be able to take hormones that allow you to breast feed, but adoptive mothers, as a general rule, have a more difficult time producing breast milk.
Be prepared to celebrate two special days every year—You may choose to celebrate your child’s birthday and your child’s adoption day. In reality, this is more for the adoptive parents than the child.
Be prepared for lots of questions—Because adoption is not the traditional way that people build a family, it can stimulate curiosity in those who have never done it. You may be subjected to odd or even inappropriate questions, such as how much your adoption cost or even details about the child’s biological family. One family that adopted an infant from China was bemused when a well-meaning relative asked if the 10-month-old girl “had a Chinese accent.”

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To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

Every Child Deserves a Family Act

Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) and Representative John Lewis (D-GA) introduced an
Act in both Houses of Congress to prohibit any adoption or foster care entity which receives federal assistance from discriminating based on sexual orientation, gender identity, or marital status. The purpose of prohibiting discrimination was to also make sure that children would be placed in families who have met all of the qualifications for parenting.

Private vs. Agency Adoption—What’s Best for You?

If you’ve been exploring the possibility of adopting a child, you’ve likely discovered that it’s not a simple process. You have lots of choices—domestic vs. international adoption, open vs. closed adoption, and agency vs. private adoption. This blog looks at the differences between private and agency adoptions.

With an agency adoption, you hire and pay an agency to handle all matters related to the adoption. You typically don’t retain your own legal counsel—that’s all handled by the agency. Your agency will ensure that you complete all required paperwork and that a home study is done. Agency personnel will either work to match you with potential birth mothers (in a domestic adoption) or ensure that you get on the waiting list and fulfill all the requirements for an international adoption.

With a private adoption, you have to take responsibility for all the things the agency would do. Most people who opt for a private adoption hire an adoption attorney early in the process. In many instances, that attorney has connections to help the adoptive parents find a potential birth mother. However, the adoptive parents may need to be creative about finding ways to notify potential birth mothers of their desire to adopt. In addition, the adoptive parents will have to hire someone (typically from an agency) to conduct a home study.

So why would you choose a private adoption over an agency adoption? It seems like a lot more work, doesn’t it? Most people who choose to the private adoption track cite two principal reasons for doing so. First, many agencies have fairly strict requirements for adoption, which can exclude some potential parents. For example, an agency may have a policy of not placing a child with a parent over the age of 50 (or even younger). In addition, many adoptive parents find that the agency process can be more cumbersome and that a private adoption can take less time.

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Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

Single Parent Adoption

Times have changed dramatically for individuals seeking to adopt a child in the United States. Fifty years ago, if you had sought to adopt a minor child as a single parent, you would have had no success, and not necessarily because adoption agencies looked with disfavor on the idea. In some states, as recently as 25 years ago, there were laws on the books that prohibited single-parent adoptions. Over the last two decades, those limitations have evaporated. Studies now show that one in four special needs adoptions involves a single parent and that about one in 20 of all adoptions are by single men or women.

Experts say that a number of factors have contributed to the shift in thinking and practice. First, as late as the 1960s, most moms were stay-at-home parents, and the concept of daycare was still an exception to the rule. In today’s world, the stay-at-home mom is the exception to the rule and it’s socially acceptable for children to spend much of their formative years in daycare. Fifty years ago, adoption agencies worried that a single parent would either face financial challenges from staying home with the child or not be involved in the child’s upbringing.

The other change, especially with special needs adoptions, is the lessened focus on the personal finances of the parent. Many states offer subsidies or financial assistance to parents adopting special needs children, so families with a single income are better able to meet the material needs of the child.

That’s not to say that single applicants have attained parity with married applicants. Many adoption agencies still choose not to work with single parents. Others may accept your application, but give priority to couples who come into their offices.

Contact Our Office

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

The Federal Family and Medical Leave Act (FFMLA)

The Federal Family and Medical Leave Act or FFMLA was passed a number of years ago to help families who have a new child with them. This also covered adoption maternity and paternity leave for adoptive or foster parents. This Act applies to all businesses with at least 50 employees as well as all state and local governments and all public and private schools. The Act mandates up to 12 weeks of unpaid job protective leave per year, and with continued insurance benefits.

In order to qualify for Family Leave, for a business with at least 50 employees, the employee must have worked for the employer for at least 12 months and for at least 1,250 hours over those 12 months and at a location within 75 miles of where the 50 or more employees work. While this is provided for under federal law, states may have their own version of this law and it is therefore advisable for any new parents to check to see if that is the case. The leave can only be taken within 12 months following the birth or the placement of a child. Since this applies to adoptive parents, the leave could be taken separately and need not be taken together which would then provide 24 weeks of unpaid leave. However, if the parents are working for the same employer, the 12 weeks are combined.

Although this discussion involves the federal FMLA, many states now have requirements that mandate smaller companies to participate in these programs, with some even requiring a certain amount of pay for time off. It is important that all adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents review their state laws. The National Conference of State Legislatures maintains a website that may provide additional information.

International Adoptions Continue to Decline

Twenty years ago, if you wanted to adopt an infant from China, you could almost get in line, wait 12-15 months and travel to the Orient to pick up your child. The chances were about 99-to-1 that you’d bring home a girl, unless you were willing to adopt a special needs boy, but the process was streamlined and had enjoyed steady growth over a number of decades. Over the last decade, though, that trend has completely reversed. And it’s not just adoptions from China, it’s international adoptions overall.

Consider these statistics. In 2004, nearly 23,000 foreign adoptees came into the United States. Just seven years later, the number was less than 10,000. In 2004, more than 13,000 children were adopted from China—by 2011, the number had dropped by more than 10,000.

According to adoption authorities, the trend has nothing to do with either supply or demand. There are just as many, if not more, children in orphanages in China and around the world, and there are just as many adoptive parents who want a child. Experts say it’s a change in attitude in those countries where the children live. Countries like China and Russia are finding that more and more people oppose sending orphans out of the country.

In addition, many foreign countries have implemented new rules making it harder for those most inclined and able to adopt to do so. The typical parent in a foreign adoption is older, and it’s not been uncommon for many to be single moms. In 2007, China changed its rules, prohibiting anyone over 50 from adopting, as well as single parents. The ban on single women was lifted in 2011, but all single adoptive mothers must now sign an affidavit swearing they are not gay. Families must also have at least $10,000 in income per family member and a minimum of $80,000 in assets.

Contact Our Office

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

Choosing an Adoption Agency

When you’ve decided to adopt a child, and you know you want to work through an agency, one of the most challenging tasks can be selecting the appropriate agency to handle your adoption. It can be a complicated and daunting process, but here are some tips for making certain that the agency you choose will be the right one.

Your First Step

There are literally thousands of adoption agencies in the United States, so you’ll need to narrow down your search substantially. One of the first questions you’ll need to ask yourself is whether you want to adopt domestically or internationally. Some agencies only handle domestic adoptions, while others really specialize in international adoptions. Furthermore, some international agencies have sub-specialties, doing a lot of their work in a few countries. In addition, you’ll want to determine whether you want to work with a local agency or a national/international agency. The local agency will typically provide a more personal experience and you’ll likely have access to more local post-adoption resources. A national agency will typically have more contacts and resources. You’ll want an agency with a lot of experience, but you can expect to pay a little more for that experience. In addition, there are advantages and disadvantages to the size of an agency. A larger agency will provide a bigger pool of candidates, but a smaller agency will typically give you more personal access to caseworkers.

Interview a Number of Agencies

Once you’ve narrowed your list to between five and ten, it’s time to ask questions. The initial questions can be solicited through an e-mail, but it’s always better, if possible to meet with agency representatives in person. Don’t get caught up in the numbers, though. It’s important to know how many adoptions the agency handles a year, and how long the average wait is, but it’s just as important to determine that you’ll enjoy working with the agency.

Contact Us

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

Supreme Court Decision Regarding Same Sex Marriage

The recent decision of the Supreme Court of the United States establishing that same sex couples have a constitutionally protected right to marry has a direct and beneficial effect on children. Specifically, the decision recognizes the dignity of all families and provides for the protection of children who are adopted or born into gay and lesbian families. This decision will allow all children to have legally recognized parents in every state and will guarantee that those children who are living with gay or lesbian parents will have secure and permanent relationships with them. In other words, each child will now have the benefit of two parents who are legally responsible for them. This can only benefit the children. The Supreme Court decision will now allow for the legally protected relationships between these parents and the children that they love and are raising. The Supreme Court decision was one in favor of children and to that extent it should be applauded.

Maintaining Your Child’s Cultural Identity after Adoption

Whether your child is biological or adopted, it’s important that they have a strong sense of their family history and cultural identity. When your child comes from a foreign country, the customs and practices of their native land are a part of their cultural makeup. By embracing their native culture, you can help assure that they develop into healthy adults. Here are some ways to keep your adopted child’s cultural heritage alive.

Make the Culture Part of Your Regular Routine

Find restaurants or regularly prepare meals that include food from your child’s country of origin. If there are holidays that are unique to your child’s native culture, celebrate them and make certain your child understands why you are doing so.

Find Support Groups

Many cities have organized groups of families who have adopted from a specific country. For example, if your child was adopted from China, you can probably find a group of similar families who get together on a regular basis to learn about and share in cultural events, dinners and festivals.

Look for Special Events

Many large cities have festivals celebrating different aspects of foreign cultures. Your local museum may bring in exhibits that feature art, history or cultural artifacts from their native land.

Learn Their Language

This can be a fun adventure that you and your child can share. Be prepared to have your child learn the language a lot faster than you do. It can be a perfect opportunity for them to teach you something, which will help build their self-esteem.

Contact Our Office

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

US Supreme Court Upholds Rights of Adoptive Same Sex Partner

On March 7, 2016 the US Supreme Court ruled that a Judgment of Adoption entered in one state must be recognized and respected in any other state in the country.

Between 2002 and 2004 a woman who was identified as E.L. gave birth to three children, a single birth and a twin birth. She was in a committed relationship with another woman who has been identified as V.L. V.L. with the consent of her partner E.L. filed for a second parent adoption in Georgia where the couple had rented a home. The adoption complied with all requirements of Georgia law and was granted by the court. Years later when living in Alabama, E.L. and V.L. separated. V.L. sought joint custody and visitation with the children in Alabama. While the Alabama lower courts agreed that she was entitled to this, the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that the Judgment of Adoption need not be honored in Alabama. V.L. appealed this to the United States Supreme Court arguing that under the United States Constitution and federal law which requires judgments of one state be given full faith an credit in a sister state, the Judgment of Adoption had to be honored in Alabama. The US Supreme Court, while not discussing the issue of same sex couples, ruled that V.L. was correct in that full faith and credit should apply. The court specifically said, “A state may not disregard the judgment of a sister state because it disagrees with the reasoning.” The Supreme Court then returned this case to Alabama for further hearings on custody and visitation, but the issue of legal entitlement has now been resolved.

This case now raises the question in assisted reproduction cases as to whether judgments granting parentage by way of Pre-Birth Orders in one state will be honored in a sister state that does not provide for such orders.

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