What to Expect at Your Home Study

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So you’ve started the adoption process and it’s your first time. You know you have to go through a “home study,” but you’re not certain the full extent of that part of the process. Does the case worker or agency representative want to know about the physical home, the emotional home, or all of the above? You guessed it—all of the above. And what exactly will it look like?

Typically, the first thing an agency representative or social worker will ask is why you want to adopt. Social workers want to be sure that you’re not going into it for the wrong reasons—that your marriage is in trouble and you think a baby will solve all your problems, for example. You’ll be asked questions about your family growing up—how were you parented and how do you feel about that? The social worker will likely inquire about your parenting philosophy, determine who the disciplinarian is your relationship, and identify the types of discipline that get meted out.

Your home study will include an assessment of the physical space of your home, so that the case worker knows that you’ll have adequate room for the child, and that the environment will be safe. There will be discussions of your financial status, in addition to conversations about who will provide care to the child. The case worker will also seek to learn about your health, so that there are assurances that you will be able to care for the child.

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

What You Need to Know about Birth Mother Expenses

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If you are seeking to adopt an infant domestically, one of the issues you’ll have to eventually address involves what expenses of the birth mother you are willing to pay. The expenses you can be accountable for are governed by state law, so every jurisdiction is different. As a general rule, you can be asked to pay reasonable medical, legal and counseling fees. You may also be allowed to pay some living expenses.

Though many adoptive parents are willing to help defray living expenses, advocates for birth mothers say doing so puts an additional burden on birth parents, as it places pressure on the birth parents to put the child up for adoption, even though the law allows them to change their mind. In fact, under the laws of every state, a birth parent cannot be compelled to terminate parental rights and an adoptive parent cannot be required to adopt a child.

A critical question for many adoptive parents centers on what happens if the birth parents changes her mind after the birth of the child. Can the adoptive parents get their money back? As a practical matter, probably not. If the birth parent had the resources to meet her own expenses, it’s likely she wouldn’t have asked for assistance. As a legal matter, though, the answer depends on state law. Some states consider any financial assistance given to the birth mom to be a gift, which cannot be revoked or taken back. A small number of states actually do recognize the validity of a reimbursement agreement between biological and adoptive parents, but such a contract is seldom put in place.

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

Expansion of Adoption Tax Credit

In April of this year Senators Casey (D-PA) and Blunt (R-MON) introduced Senate Bill 950 entitled the “Adoption Tax Credit Refundability Act of 2015.” The purpose of the Act would be to make the Adoption Tax Credit fully refundable as it had been several years ago. The need for this is that approximately one-half of the families who adopt from foster care are not high income earners and have tax liabilities that are so low that they can not benefit from the Adoption Tax Credit. By making it refundable these families who need assistance the most will be able to get it.

Long-Term Issues for Adopted Children

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It’s an unfortunate reality of life that, as an adopted parent, you can do everything right to raise a healthy and well-adjusted child, and your child may still struggle with issues specifically related to being adopted. Every person reacts differently to the circumstances in their lives and you simply can’t control how others, including your adopted child, will interpret events. Nonetheless, here are some typical long-term challenges faced by adoptees and some strategies for addressing them.

The Challenges

It’s not uncommon for an adopted child to hang on to feelings of grief—grief for their own loss of relationship with biological family members, and grief for their biological family’s loss. Many adopted children carry a long term challenge with sense of identity, particularly those who’ve had no contact with their biological parents. There are also self-esteem issues tied to a sense of abandonment, and there can be intense feelings of guilt when adopted children want to learn more about their biological parents.

Your Best Response

There is no one response that’s going to work with every adopted child, but here are some ways that you can build healthy emotional relationships with your adopted child:

  • Empathize—try to put yourself in your child’s shoes, and understand how they might be feeling
  • Be consistent—Your child will come to trust you more if you are predictable, and will be more willing to be open about challenges or problems
  • Be there—As often as possible, be emotionally available for your child
  • Don’t take things personally—Your child isn’t doing anything a biological child wouldn’t do

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

Parenting an Adopted Teenager

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When your child hits the age of 13, a lot of things can change…the rapid physical and hormonal growth will literally make your child a different person. That applies for adopted children as well as biological children. Your adopted teenager will need parental supervision and emotional guidance just as much, if not more, at 15 as at five. The teenaged years see a lot of changes in the brain, and tend to be when people develop lifelong skills in reasoning, control and judgment. Here are some things you can do to help your adopted kids through this difficult time.

  • Encourage your child to take healthy risks—If your child doesn’t learn to take risks now, it will be even more difficult for them to do so as adults. But you want the risks to be safe. Encourage them to take up a musical instrument, try a new sport, or go on a chaperoned trip.
  • Allow your child to make decisions—The more decisions you make for your child, the less they’ll be able to make their own decisions when the time comes. Ask your child to be engaged in planning—meals, activities, clothes, classes—but be there to talk to them when they may be inclined to make decisions that could have long-term negative repercussions.
  • Let your child see the world—Expose them to different cultural, social and physical activities, but always do so in a way that’s safe for everyone involved.
  • Set boundaries—It’s essential to establish limits on activities, from television and devices to food and alone time
  • Seek professional assistance when something is out of your comfort zone—If your child is having emotional or developmental challenges and you don’t feel equipped to handle it, look to a professional.

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

Adoption Issues in South Korea

In the 1980s the number of children leaving South Korea for adoption was extremely high. In recent years it has dwindled to a trickle. This has been caused primarily by the restrictions placed not only on adoption by foreigners but overall adoption by South Koreans themselves within their country. Despite the fact that there are many South Korean children who are in need of permanent families, these restrictions remain in place making even domestic in-country adoptions very difficult. This is certainly not good for these children.

Domestic or International Adoption?

You know that you want to adopt a child. Your next decision—should you adopt domestically (within the United States) or internationally. Here are some of the key issues to consider.

The Cost

Cost used to be much more of a consideration when deciding whether to adopt in the United States or through a foreign country, but that’s not so much the case anymore. With a domestic adoption, you can expect to spend anywhere from $20,000 to $35,000, as a general rule. With an international adoption, the bottom end can be lower—as little as $15,000—but the top end can be higher—as much as $50,000. It all depends on what country you choose. The costs are typically more predictable with a foreign adoption, as you generally don’t pay medical or living expenses for a birthmother. You face financial risks either way, as a birthmother may change her mind after you’ve incurred costs or a country may close its borders to adoption.

Contact or Communication with Birth Parents

If you want your child to have knowledge of and a relationship with birth parents, you’ll want to adopt domestically. If, on the other hand, you don’t want an ongoing relationship with the birthmother, an international adoption will typically accomplish that objective.

The Process

With a domestic adoption, there’s usually far more uncertainty in the process. It’s typically a matching process, where you put your profile out and prospective birthmothers review your profile and choose you. With most international adoptions, you are bringing home a child from an orphanage, so the “courtship” between birth parents and adoptive parents never takes place. There’s a waiting list and you get in line on the waiting list. With some countries, you can often know within a month or so of the exact date you’ll travel to bring home your child.

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

Protecting Adopted Children Act

In April Representative Langevin (D-RI) introduced the Protecting Adopted Children Act (HR2068) in order to “insure the safety and well-being of adopted children.” This was in response to reports of individuals who had adopted children, primarily from foreign countries, and who later found that there were such severe issues or difficulties involving the children and with no help available, attempted to place the children, with other families without proper safeguards. The purpose of the Bill would be to provide both pre and post adoptive counseling and to provide funding for specialized treatment for these children, including psychiatric residential services, out-patient mental health services, and other services to assist the families who are dealing with children who have these problems. The bill was referred to several committees for review. Although there were a number of sponsors, the Senate has not yet introduced a companion Bill.

Talking With Your Adopted Child about Their Adoption

When you adopt a child, you hope that the life you give that child will be as normal as possible. For some adoptive parents, talking to your adopted child about their being adopted can jeopardize that sense of normality, but experts say it’s essential for the well-being of your child. Chances are pretty good that they’ll find out somehow, and it’s always best that they learn it from you and that it be a positive experience. So what’s the best way to help your adopted child understand the whole concept.

Start Early

The earlier you openly discuss the fact that your child was adopted, the easier it will be for everyone involved. Your child will grow up with an understanding of the language of adoption. It will also help you get used to the words, and fine tune your use of language while they are still in the developmental stage.

Don’t Tell Them More Than They Can Understand

For a very small child, it’s probably more appropriate to use the language of a story. Be certain you are speaking to the listening of your audience. If your child is four years old, you need to use a style and words that make sense to a four-year-old. Often, because the story is so much a part of their lives, kids stop asking a lot of the questions as they grow older. But if questions persist into their teens, you can have a more adult conversation with them.

Tell the Truth

It’s common for adoptive parents to want to make everything positive. Don’t make up stories about birth parents or attribute motives when you don’t know what they are. Stick to the facts as much as you can, but remember that small children may not fully understand the facts. Don’t tell them more than they can understand.

Be Willing to Have the Conversation as Often as Necessary

Adoption is a complicated process, and even more so for the child. You won’t answer all their questions in a single conversation.

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail.

For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

Things You Don’t Want to Say to an Adopted Child

Things-You-Don't-Want-to-Say-to-an-Adopted-Child

Experts will tell you that communication with your adopted child is paramount. But there are some things that you should never say to an adopted child.

Don’t Ever Tell Your Child That They “Look Different” from the Rest of the Family

This can be unintentional. You tell your child that they don’t have certain family traits. It may be true, but it tells them that they are different and that they are not really part of the family. Physical appearance doesn’t have anything to do with really being a family, so leave it out of your discussions.

Don’t Tell Your Child That They Are Not Old Enough to Understand

When your adopted child asks questions, it can be scary, and the inclination can be to say, “you wouldn’t really understand…we’ll talk about that when you are older.” Unfortunately, when you don’t answer your child’s questions, they don’t stop thinking about them. What they’ll most likely do is try to come up with the answers on their own… they’ll frequently be wrong.

Don’t Ever Disparage Their Birth Parents

Your adopted child needs to have a positive image of his or her birth parents. The best thing you can say to your adopted child is that his or her birth parent loved him and made the decision to pursue adoption out of love. Don’t ever imply that you “saved” your adopted child from a difficult life, or that their birth parent did not or could not properly care for them.

Contact Us

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

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