The Costs of LGBTQ Family Formation

How Much It Costs to Form an LGBTQI+ Family

Over the past decade, a considerable amount of progress has been made when it comes to LGBTQI+ civil rights, which has made it easier for LGBTQI+ people to start families. According to the 2023 LGBTQI+ Economic and Financial (LEAF) survey, around 36% of LGBTQI+ respondents are parents or primary guardians for one or more children. Regardless of how you choose to start a family, there are certain costs you’ll be tasked with paying.

Adoption Costs

If you’re looking to adopt a child into your LGBTQI+ family, the costs vary substantially depending on the adoption method you choose. Every type of adoption comes with different requirements and processes as well. For instance, you could decide to take part in an open or closed adoption.

In a closed adoption, the adoptive and biological parents don’t have much contact or details about one another. Open adoptions are less stringent in this regard. In most cases, the child’s birth parents and adoptive parents will exchange contact information and even maintain relationships over time. These adoptions usually cost anywhere from $8,000-$30,000. The other types of adoptions and their respective price ranges are:

  • Domestic or international adoptions – $25,000-$75,000
  • Independent adoptions – $15,000-$40,000
  • Private or public agency adoptions – $2,000-$50,000
  • Foster to adoption – $1,000-$5,000
  • Second-parent adoption – $2,000-$3,000

The factors that determine how much you pay during this process depend on the type of adoption you believe is best for your LGBTQI+ family. If you have questions about the adoption process, a New Jersey adoption attorney might be able to help.

Surrogacy Costs

If you aren’t interested in adoption, another solution that might interest you involves surrogacy. For instance, gestational surrogacy takes place when a donor’s fertilized egg is implanted through in vitro fertilization (IVF). It’s possible for the egg and sperm to come from a donor or biological parent. Surrogacy is expensive and can cost anywhere from $60,000 to $150,000.

There are many factors that determine what costs you pay. For instance, you could pay anywhere from $25,000 to $50,000 as surrogate compensation. If you’re able to find a close friend or family member who will be an egg donor or surrogate without requiring compensation, your costs can be reduced significantly. While surrogates often require compensation of around $50,000, these costs can be higher if the pregnancy involves cesarean delivery or leads to the birth of twins.

During this process, you might also need to pay for the surrogate’s lost wages and living expenses, which could be $25,000 or more. Healthcare costs add up quickly when paying monthly premiums, deductibles, copayments, and coinsurance. Out-of-pocket expenses can be high since many insurance providers don’t provide much coverage for fertility treatment. Additional expenses come in the form of background checks and health screenings, which can add a few thousand dollars to your total costs.

In Vitro Fertilization and Artificial Insemination Costs

There are two primary types of assisted reproductive technology, which include in vitro fertilization and artificial insemination. In vitro fertilization has a success rate of around 50% or higher. During this process, eggs are retrieved from a woman’s ovaries, after which they are fertilized in a lab and transferred to a uterus. An IVF cycle takes around three weeks. However, the entire IVF process requires three cycles, which can take up to nine weeks. The costs range from $45,000 to $70,000.

Artificial insemination costs anywhere from $200-$2,000 and involves delivering sperm to a woman’s uterus or cervix. The two types of artificial insemination include intrauterine insemination (IUI) and intracervical insemination (ICI). The ICI process costs less.

Costs of Protecting LGBTQI+ Family

When you’re forming an LGBTQI+ family, you may eventually pay out-of-pocket legal expenses to secure your parentage. Legal fees occur when contracts need to be drafted and reviewed. Keep in mind that legally establishing parentage for you and your partner requires a court judgment, which can cost anywhere from $4,000 to $7,000. While certain states are currently taking steps to make this process simpler and more streamlined, progress still needs to be made to reduce costs. If you’re in the midst of creating an LGBTQI+ family, legal expenses are difficult to avoid altogether.

Starting a family can be costly for LGBTQI+ parents. However, there are numerous options available when building a family, which provides you with a certain amount of control over what the final costs will be. Call our New Jersey adoption attorney today at (856) 429-5005 if you’re getting ready to start the adoption process or go through assisted reproduction.

Surrogacy vs. Adoption

Should Your Family Pick Surrogacy or Adoption?

An estimated 2 to 4% of people in the United States have adopted, but over one-third of the population have at least given the option a thought. Many have also considered surrogacy. Both arrangements come with advantages and obstacles, and one might be the right fit for your family.

Genetic Factors

Surrogacy and adoption involve distinctly different processes. It gives intended parents a significant advantage if they know the steps they’ll have to take and everything that goes into these processes before they jump into one or the other. These are some of the main differences to bear in mind between surrogacy and adoption.

 

With gestational surrogacy, an embryo transfer is used to impregnate the surrogate mother with the genetic materials of the donors or parents. This means that the surrogate mother has no relation to the child even though she carries the baby to term. Rather, the baby is related to the parents or donors.

 

When you adopt, on the other hand, the birth mother is still biologically related to the child, and the adoptive couple is not. This may come with deep emotional implications between the birth parents and your child later on in life. All of this is on top of the potential legal challenges that this process may present as well.

 

Consider the genetic parents, yourselves as the adoptive couple, and the child you adopt as well. Think of how you’re going to handle the situation going forward. As the child grows up, it helps to have a plan in place for all of the difficult conversations so that there are no unpleasant surprises along the way.

 

With surrogacy, it’s often helpful that you are biologically connected from a legal point of view. For one thing, it gives intended parents more say over how the surrogacy process goes.

 

It’s possible for either one or both of the intended parents to be genetically related to their surrogate child. If a biological relation to your child is something that is important to you and your partner, it’s important to discuss the matter openly and be honest about your feelings.

Money Matters

Surrogacy comes with no shortage of fees and expenses. This is to cover the process of transferring the embryo as well as to compensate the surrogate mother and pay the healthcare costs associated with pregnancy and delivery. For all these reasons, surrogacy is by far the more costly option when compared to adoption.

 

Program fees, agency fees, and myriad professional services are inevitable no matter which of these routes you take. It’s going to be an expensive process whether you choose surrogacy or adoption, but the former comes with the most additional expenses.

 

Most of the time, the intended parents pay their surrogate. This is meant to compensate them for the time and effort and everything that they sacrificed throughout their pregnancy and the rest of the process. Payments from the intended parents are for living expenses, which are to cover things like rent, other bills, and groceries.

 

Unfortunately, couples who want to try surrogacy might not have as many opportunities to seek financing because surrogacy lacks a federal tax credit. If you choose to adopt, on the other hand, the adoption federal tax credit is a resource you may have access to. This is something that a New Jersey adoption attorney may be able to help you with.

The Matching Process

The process of matching with your child or surrogate mother is a major part of either process. As such, it can be the source of a significant amount of stress and anxiety.

 

In most adoptions, the intended parents decide on the kind of adoption situation they’re comfortable with. They can choose some things about what they’re looking for in a child, such as race or whether the child has been exposed to any substances. Adoptive parents should also decide if they want an arrangement with contact between the birth parents and child after they’ve been placed with the adoptive parents.

 

With adoption, the birth mother gets the final say as to where the child ends up. For more of a shared, reciprocal matching process, surrogacy might be what you’re looking for. Couples get to look through potential surrogates, and then the surrogates they choose have the opportunity to express mutual interest.

 

Call Cofsy & Zeidman for a New Jersey adoption attorney who can help you decide which of these arrangements is best for you. Contact our offices in New Jersey and Pennsylvania at (856) 429-5005.

Putting Your Child Up for Adoption

What You Should Know About Placing Your Child for Adoption

With over a million American couples waiting to adopt a child at any given time, adoption can be a great way to provide a stable and supportive home for your child. However, the decision to put your child up for adoption is not an easy one, and it’s vital to explore all of the implications before making a final decision.

What Is Adoption?

Adoption is a legal process by which a person becomes the parent of a child who is not their biological offspring. Once the adoption is finalized, the adoptive parent assumes all of the legal rights and responsibilities to the child, just as if they were the biological parent.

There are a few different types of adoption to consider. For parents considering placing their child for adoption, two of the most relevant options are open and closed adoptions. Open adoptions allow for contact between the birth parent and adoptive family after the adoption is finalized. Closed adoptions, on the other hand, involve no contact between the two parties once the adoption is finalized.

Overview of the Process

The process of putting a child up for adoption can vary depending on the type of route you choose. Generally, however, you’ll want to begin by contacting a New Jersey adoption lawyer to discuss your legal options and the implications of adoption.

It may also be wise to contact a reputable adoption agency during this time. An adoption agency is an organization that works to match birth parents with adoptive families and facilitate the adoption process. Most agencies will allow you to meet prospective adoptive families and decide which one you feel is the best fit for your child.

If you already have an interested adoptive family in mind, you may be able to pursue a private adoption rather than working with an agency. This option can reduce the cost and length of time it takes to finalize the adoption, but it is important to work with an attorney to ensure that the process is done legally and safely.

Potential Challenges

Although adoption can bring many benefits to children and families, it’s not without its challenges. Placing your child for adoption can be difficult emotionally, and you may need to seek professional counseling or support from friends and family during this time. Even if you are comfortable with your decision, you may be surprised by the range of emotions you experience throughout the process.

Adoption can also present emotional difficulties for the child. Children may express feelings of loss, confusion, or abandonment over their adoption. This type of response is most typically associated with older children who remember their birth parents, but babies and toddlers are not immune to these feelings either.

You’re making this decision for the benefit of your child, but they’re likely too young to understand this, and it’s important to prepare them for the potential emotional struggles they may face. If you’re concerned about the potential negative effects of the adoption on the child, you may want to advocate for an open adoption that allows them to maintain contact with you, which can soften the impact of this transition.

Alternatives to Adoption

Keep in mind that adoption isn’t necessarily your only option. If you’re considering adoption, take some time to explore other routes as well.

For example, if you’re struggling to provide proper care for your child due to potentially temporary circumstances such as addiction, illness, or financial hardship, you may want to consider a temporary legal guardianship arrangement until you’re able to restore stability. You can also take a look at local resources such as Medicaid, food assistance, job training programs, and other forms of government aid that may make it easier for you to provide a healthy home environment.

Ultimately, the decision to place your child for adoption is entirely in your hands, and it can be the right choice for some families. With prior knowledge of what’s involved and the potential challenges, you can make an informed decision that best serves the needs of your child. Get started today by contacting a New Jersey adoption lawyer at (856) 429-5005. With offices in Haddonfield, Woodbury, and Philadelphia, the Cofsky & Zeidman team is here to support you every step of the way.

SCOTUS Rules on Non-Native Adoptions

Understanding the Recent SCOTUS Ruling on Native American Adoptions

Native American children are four times more likely to end up in foster care, so many adoptive families end up including Native American people. However, there are a lot of controversies around how these cases are handled. A recent ruling by the Supreme Court of the United States has helped to clarify how certain adoption laws work.

Supreme Court Upholds Adoption Law Giving Native Americans Preference

In June 2023, the Supreme Court finally resolved an issue that has been hotly debated for several years. The case started in 2016 when a Texas family attempted to adopt a child they were fostering, but the child was eventually adopted by a Native American couple instead. This happened because of a 1978 law, the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA), that says Native American children will go to Native American adoptive families whenever possible. The ICWA was meant to address the historic issue of Native American children being taken from their families and prevented from learning Native American culture.

 

Because of the controversial situation, a lawsuit was filed by the state of Texas and three non-Native American families against the United States Department of the Interior. The plaintiffs said that the ICWA discriminates against non-Native Americans and that the federal government overstepped its bounds by creating a law that governs how adoptions work.

 

The Supreme Court voted 7-2 to uphold the ICWA. The justices based their ruling on several grounds including the plaintiffs’ lack of legal standing and the merits of the ICWA. They emphasized that tribal courts still have jurisdiction over Native children, and the federal government cannot disrupt this jurisdiction to make state adoption agencies place Native American children in non-Native homes.

Adoption Experts Weigh in on the Pros and Cons of the Ruling

The Supreme Court adoption ruling has been met with both praise and complaints. Native American advocacy groups have expressed joy that the ICWA and tribal rights were upheld. In a statement on the subject, the National Congress of American Indians said, “One thing is certain: ICWA (Indian Child Welfare Act) is crucial for the safety and well-being of Native children and families and the future of Native peoples and Tribal Nations.” They believe that this ruling will safeguard Native American children’s ability to grow up in their culture and remain connected to their tribes.

 

However, others are concerned that the ruling did not address the racial discrimination claims of the case. They feel that this ruling disregards other aspects of child welfare and focuses solely on the race of adoptive parents. In the dissenting opinions, Supreme Court justices mentioned that the racial discrimination claims could potentially be brought up again in future lawsuits about adopting a Native child.

Will This Ruling Affect Current Adoptions?

This court battle has been high-profile and very controversial, but it will only affect a few adoptions. The ICWA has never outright prohibited non-Native families from adopting Native children. Often, local tribal courts will approve cross-cultural adoptions, especially in cases where a New Jersey adoption attorney can show that the adoption will allow siblings to remain together. The number of non-Native foster parents and adoptive parents is much higher than Native ones, so cross-cultural adoptions remain common.

 

Furthermore, this ruling does not do much to affect Native American parents’ chances of adopting a child. Since the Supreme Court upheld current laws, nothing will change for Native Americans hoping to adopt. They will still be given preferences in cases where the state is looking for an adoptive family for a Native child. The only time that this ruling may cause issues for parents is if adoptive parents are non-Native and were hoping to adopt a child while there was also a Native couple interested in adopting that same child.

 

If you have any questions on this ruling or other adoption laws, Cofsky & Zeidman can help. Our New Jersey adoption attorney assists people throughout the regios. We help clients finalize adoptions, negotiate surrogacy arrangements, and more. To schedule your free consultation, call 856-429-5005 or email us today.

The Benefits of Adopting Your Stepchild

Why You Should Consider Adopting Your Stepchild

Many couples are pleased to learn that adopting their spouse’s child from a previous relationship is possible. Families that opt for stepparent adoption will join approximately 750,000 other families in which a spouse has adopted a stepchild in the U.S. One thing that is important to know is this process is not necessarily easy. Being a stepparent involves co-parenting your spouse’s children and is an incredible responsibility.

What Are the Benefits of Adopting a Spouse’s Child?

One of the most important things to remember is that stepchild adoption provides extra legal protections. Stepparents who adopt stepchildren have recourse to many of the benefits of biological parents:

  • A stepparent can raise the stepchild as if they were their own after the death or incapacitation of the other parent.
  • Stepparents can provide the same financial support available to a biological child.
  • Adopting a stepchild can put the adoptee on equal footing with other children for inheritance purposes.
  • Adopting a stepchild is one of the strongest ways of showing acceptance of the relationship with the child.
  • Taking this step is often one of the best ways to strengthen relationships within a blended family.

Are There Special Considerations When Adopting a Stepchild?

A New Jersey adoption attorney can advise you about the requirements for adopting a stepchild. There are some precise requirements under state law.

First of all, the stepparent and biological parent must be in a legal marriage. A stepparent must be at least 18 years old and at least 10 years older than the child.

Children over 10 years old must give consent to the adoption. In addition, the child must attend the hearing in these circumstances.

Must the Other Parent’s Rights be Terminated?

The process of how to adopt a stepchild in New Jersey does involve the non-custodial parent’s rights having been terminated. Although the other parent may terminate their right voluntarily, this process may also be involuntary.

Non-custodial parents who opt to give up their rights must sign appropriate documentation. Sometimes, circumstances don’t allow biological parents to voluntarily surrender their rights.

If the biological parent cannot be found and if there is a court order affirming this status, their rights might be terminated. Parents convicted of abandoning, abusing, or neglecting a child may lose their parental rights. Child cruelty convictions may also result in parents losing their rights.

Courts will require testimony attesting to why a child would benefit from the parent losing their rights. Failure to comply with the Division of Child Protection and Permanency’s guidelines may result in parental rights termination.

What Is the Process for Adopting a New Jersey Stepchild?

A stepparent must pass a background check before adopting their stepchild. After the stepparent completes this step, the New Jersey adoption attorney can help them prepare for the hearing.

The hearing allows the judge to determine whether to grant the petition to adopt the stepchild. If granted, the stepparent will have the same full legal rights as a biological parent.

What If the Couple Later Divorces?

An adoptive stepparent has the same responsibilities and duties as the biological parent. If a couple divorces, the courts will treat the situation the same as if both parents are biological parents.

A stepparent may sue for custody or visitation rights in a divorce if they have adopted a stepchild. Paying child support might also be necessary if the couple divorces.

Can Stepchild Adoption Be Handled Out of Court?

All adoptions occur within the court system for the children’s protection. This process is sometimes complicated, even when the other parent opts to terminate their rights.

The adoption process isn’t usually fast and may have complications along the way. However, a prospective adoptive stepparent who understands the process and can effectively advocate for adopting their stepchild may enjoy better chances of success.

If you are interested in adopting your stepchild in New Jersey, contact our Haddonfield law firm at (856) 429-5005.

The Differences Between Gestational Carriers and Surrogates

Understanding the Difference Between a Gestational Carrier and Surrogate

Many parents welcome new members to their families through the gift of surrogacy or by using a gestational carrier. These two terms are often confused, and for a long time, laws did not distinguish between the two. However, there are distinct differences between them regarding the genetic connection of the child as well as potential custody agreements.

What Is a Surrogate?

Though the term for someone else carrying your child is “surrogacy,” it doesn’t mean that everyone who carries a child for a couple is technically a surrogate. Instead, a surrogate is a person who both carries the child in question and is the biological mother of them; that is, surrogates provide eggs themselves and, therefore, are directly connected to the child biologically. Couples may use their own genetic material for a surrogate to become pregnant, but they can also use a sperm donor.

Because of the genetic connection, surrogates may be able to make a custody claim, which stands in contrast to gestational carriers. To prevent this, some states allow parents to submit a pre-birth order (PBO) to the court having jurisdiction prior to the birth of the child. The PBO includes signatures from the surrogate and her attorney stating that the surrogate will waive her rights to parentage of the unborn child upon its birth and it will be legally recognized as the child of the intended parents. Basically, a PBO allows the parents to adopt their child before birth instead of having to wait for the infant to be born.

Surrogates also go through more screenings than gestational carriers, including psychological and physical health exams. Some states, like New Jersey, do require screenings for carriers, but when it comes to screenings for surrogates, the reason is simple: genetics.

What Is a Gestational Carrier?

In contrast to a surrogate, a gestational carrier does not have any genetic link to the fetus they carry and birth. They receive fertility treatment to become pregnant with the child, using an egg either provided by the couple or donated by a third party.

Once they become pregnant, they carry the child throughout the course of the pregnancy on behalf of the legal parents. Without any genetic connection to the child they’re carrying, though, gestational carriers have no claim to that child whatsoever — the carrier cannot attempt to claim custody, although they may still sign a PBO. Gestational carriers are actually more common in surrogacy than surrogates themselves.

Other Differences

As there are fundamental differences between surrogates and gestational carriers, laws across the United States treat them differently as well, which is crucial to be aware of if you are considering surrogacy. New Jersey law, for example, does recognize gestational carriers. However, it is permitted in the Garden State only if there is no compensation involved (other for reasonable costs such as housing, food, legal fees, counseling services, and medical bills) and there is no pre-birth agreement to surrender the child. You can speak with your New Jersey adoption lawyer to learn more about the state’s position on these matters, including the New Jersey Gestational Carrier Agreement Act that was enacted in 2018.

Making the Right Choice for Your Family

The personal decision to work with a surrogate or gestational carrier falls to the couple, but it can be helpful to learn more about the legal process with an attorney.

Most individuals want to avoid the adoption process with a traditional surrogate, so they opt for a gestational carrier instead. However, there are many fertility and adoption clinics that work with reputable surrogates who help bring the miracle of a new child to New Jersey families with no issue. Both forms of surrogacy have their merits, making it all the more important to know the differences.

You may decide to speak with a New Jersey adoption lawyer to explore your options and learn more about the process. If that is the case, contact Donald Cofsky at Cofsky & Zeidman today to schedule a consultation. You can reach our office in Haddonfield by phone at 856-429-5005 or by completing and submitting the contact form on our website.

Should Adopted Children Try to Locate Their Birth Parents?

Should Adoptees Try to Find Their Birth Parents?

Before open adoptions became the standard in the U.S., there were many more closed adoptions in which the adoptee had no contact with their biological parents. It’s common for adopted children who grew up in closed adoptions to be curious about who their birth parents are, but there are some things to keep in mind before attempting to find them.

How to Get Ready for the Experience

It’s helpful to decide ahead of time what your goal is and what you want from the experience. This can help you determine the financial and emotional resources that you’re comfortable expending. Depending on your end goal, the level of disruption that finding your birth parents could cause might not end up being worth it.

Also, make sure you understand your state’s adoption laws. A New Jersey adoption lawyer can help with this and could give you some good tips about where to start.

For adoptees who already have some information about who their biological parents are, it may be possible to reach out to them over social media. But it’s important to carefully think it through and decide whether or not that’s the best way to contact them before you rush into it. Consider the possibility that you won’t get the response you want or any response at all, and make sure you’re ready for that. While social media has helped many adoptees reunite with their birth parents, not every outcome is positive.

Where to Begin

If you want to locate your birth parents, be prepared for a variety of challenges. Many of these are emotional, but it can also come down to how hard it is to track down the necessary information. You might see if you can find the adoption records. While these aren’t always available for you to access, they’re a good place to start your search. Other great places to look include:

  • DNA testing sites
  • Adoption registries
  • Social media

There are adoption records for each adoption that has happened in the U.S. From these records, it’s possible to obtain a copy of your original birth certificate. You can also find out the location of your birth as well as crucial information to help identify your birth parents. This includes their names, phone numbers, and addresses. Bear in mind, though, that their address and number may have changed in the years since your birth.

For closed adoptions in most parts of the United States, these records are sealed once the adoption has been finalized. You have to follow the state law where the adoption took place to unseal the records, which tends to be a difficult part of the process.

In the majority of states, adult adoptees can obtain non-identifying information about their birth parents if they put in a written request. While you won’t be able to find out how to contact them this way, you can still learn about their race, medical history, and reason for adoption, among other things.

Benefits of Finding Your Birth Parents

Some people learn important information from their birth parents’ medical history. It may point you in the direction of genetic diseases and other health conditions that your family is predisposed to. If you know what to look out for, it may help you spot warning signs in yourself or your children and can help you safeguard against these health risks.

Some adoptees find it helpful to learn why they were adopted. Some people feel like they need to understand their birth parents’ decision before they can come to emotional terms with who they are. Contacting your birth parents can give them a chance to tell you what happened and why in their own words whether the birth parents had their rights terminated or they gave up the adoptee willingly.

On the flip side, the birth parents may take comfort in the knowledge that their birth children are doing well. It may also be interesting to know what traits you share with others in your birth family such as family physical traits or behaviors.

Call Cofsky & Zeidman at (856) 429-5005 for a New Jersey adoption lawyer that you can count on. We have offices in Haddonfield, Woodbury, and, for our many Pennsylvania clients, Philadelphia.

Finding an Adoptive Family

How to Choose an Adoptive Family

If you’re one of the 18,000 biological parents interested in placing your child with an adoptive family, finding the right family is essential. Your choice will impact your pregnancy, the child’s future, and your potential relationship with the child. To find the perfect family for you and the child’s needs, you’ll need to carefully consider these factors.

Think About Your Main Goals

There are far more adoptive families available than there are children up for adoption, so all the different options to choose from can be overwhelming. Many biological parents find it helpful to narrow down their choices a little before they start looking at family profiles. You may want to ask yourself the following questions when deciding how to pick adoptive parents:

  • Do you want an open adoption where you hear more about the child over the years or a closed adoption with no contact?
  • Would you prefer that your child have siblings, and does it matter if their siblings were adopted or not?
  • Are you interested in a rural or urban upbringing for your child?
  • Does it matter what religion, if any, the adoptive parents follow?
  • Would you prefer the adoptive family to be of the same race as the child’s biological parents?
  • How financially secure do you want the family to be?

Talk to Adoption Professionals

The majority of voluntary adoptions are done through private adoption agencies. However, you can also arrange an adoption privately or go through your local Department of Children and Families agency. Whatever adoption method you choose, it’s a good idea to speak to professionals. They can put you in touch with prospective families and assist with communication. Often, their help makes it much easier to sort through all the different offers you’ll have.

Look at Profiles for Prospective Families

Every family who wants to adopt will put together a profile that tells you a little about who they are and why they want to adopt. When working with an agency, they’ll often go through their database and pull profiles for couples who meet your criteria. Take your time when looking through these and try to consider what it will be like for the child to grow up with the family. There is no wrong way to pick profiles you’re interested in. Some biological parents pick people with personalities that they feel instantly drawn to while others try to analytically decide based on who can provide the child with the most advantageous childhood.

Meet With Families You’re Interested In

Though you don’t have to be involved, many biological parents prefer to interview prospective couples in person, on the phone, or over email. Meeting with them can help you see whether you have rapport and decide whether they’re a good fit. Meeting families won’t come with any obligation. If you decide that they’re not a good fit, you can just ask your New Jersey adoption attorney to tell the family that you’ve found someone else.

Discuss Your Terms

After you find a couple who seems like good parents for the child, it will be time to finalize your agreement. Adoption agreements are all about defining what you feel comfortable with and what will be best for the child. Your adoption lawyer can help create a contract that clearly lists details such as:

  • How the adoptive family will reimburse you for medical expenses
  • Who is allowed to be present during labor or doctor’s visits
  • How much contact you will have with the child
  • What updates the adoptive family will provide you with
  • How you will contact the adoptive family

If you’re considering adoption, Cofsky & Zeidman are here to help. Our New Jersey adoption attorney can represent your interests and assist you with navigating the legal system. You can count on us to make the process as smooth and stress-free as possible. To learn more about your options, give our Haddonfield office a call at 856-429-5005 or fill out our contact form.

What to Consider Before You Decide to Adopt

What to Consider Before You Decide to Adopt

No matter the circumstances, adoption is always a major decision. Approximately 135,000 children are adopted every year in the United States. This includes an estimated 59% from the foster care system, 26% from abroad and 15% who are relinquished voluntarily.

Adoption Can Be Hard for Everyone Involved

The process of adoption may be overwhelming to the parents, and it’s often scary for the kids involved. It can also stir up a significant amount of fear and other emotions.

When you think about whether or not this life choice is right for your family, consider what’s at the heart of your desire to adopt. Make sure that the choices you make are truly for the child’s benefit. Although the vast majority of adopting parents have the best intentions, it’s still possible to lose sight of things in this complex and often lengthy process.

Anticipate Each Child’s Unique Challenges

Remember that no two children are the same, so all kids need different things from their parents. Make sure to consider your family’s limitations, and be realistic about what you’re capable of. If a child has a physical or mental disability, which is the case with numerous adoption candidates, their care will take extra time, care and effort.

Adoptive parents should also think about the child’s background, age and gender. These factors can play a significant role in how much work it will take for the adoptive family to provide a suitable, healthy environment for the child to grow up and thrive in.

In addition to gearing yourself up emotionally, you have to keep the logistical concerns in mind. If you have never had a kid in your house, try to think of everything you’ll have to do in order to child-proof the space. Some hazards might not become obvious until it’s too late if you don’t give it enough forethought. In addition to safety, ask yourself if you can make changes in decor or in your home’s layout to make it more inviting to a child who may be feeling fragile.

It Takes a Village

When you adopt a child, community support is essential. It’s difficult to raise a well-rounded child in isolation. Before you adopt, think about who you can turn to for help. This includes family, friends and neighbors. Who will watch your child if you get stuck at work or have to go out of town?

You can also see if there are groups in your area that you can join. It might be helpful to talk to a New Jersey adoption attorney. Sometimes, just the feeling that there are others around who are on your side can make all the difference.

Help is crucial for all new parents, and adoptive parents shouldn’t feel the need to try to shoulder everything themselves. It’s not just important for the parents but also the child you’re adopting. Strong community support can help them to feel like they’re supported in every way and that they have access to everything they need.

Think About What the Child Has Lost

What some adoptive families don’t realize is that the adopted child starts the experience with the loss of their previous family and household. It may take some time for them to fully grieve this loss. You might notice an adopted child act out in various ways.

It’s helpful to anticipate this type of behavior and attempt to understand why it’s happening. Adoptive parents have to rise to this challenge and keep their cool so that they can work through issues as they come up. An adopted child might not be ready or willing to talk about their trauma right away, and they may still have yet to learn the emotional tools to express these kinds of complex feelings. Family therapy sessions could allow everyone an outlet to discuss their feelings and get advice about how to move forward.

Before adoption, it’s best to figure out whether you’d prefer that the adoption be open, where the child can have contact with their biological parents, or closed adoptions, where they can’t. Each choice presents different challenges and advantages and depends on your situation and family. In dome cases, you won’t have full control over the relationship that your adopted child has with their biological parents.

At Cofsy & Zeidman, you’ll find a New Jersey adoption attorney who will walk you through every step of the process. Call (856) 429-5005 to reach us in Haddonfield or (856) 845-2555 for our office in Woodbury. We also serve clients in Pennsylvania.

Choosing an Adoption Agency

Selecting the Right Adoption Agency for Your Family

Once you have made the decision to adopt, choosing an adoption agency can seem like a hurdle that you need to clear as quickly as possible in order to achieve your true goal. New Jersey adoption lawyers caution against rushing the decision and warn that many people who end up dissatisfied with their adoption process regret the organization that they chose. Your agency will serve as your guide, and your connection with that team will be as much a personal relationship as it is a business exchange.

The Initial Phase

Area adoption experts recommend hiring a New Jersey adoption lawyer early in the process because your attorney can help you avoid the many legal and practical pitfalls associated with agency adoption. With representation secured, the next step is to finalize some important decisions about how you want to adopt. You may want to consider:

  • International vs. domestic adoption
  • Local vs. national adoption agencies
  • Size of the adoption agency
  • Pre- and post-adoption resources
  • Birthmother support and humanitarian aid

The Interview Phase

After considering those topics and deciding what is important to you, you will have a set of criteria through which you can determine if an agency is worthwhile exploring further. New Jersey adoption lawyers and other adoption experts tend to advise against email interviews, which are impersonal. Interview in person if possible or at least by phone. Historically, one of the disadvantages of national adoption agencies was the lack of personal touch, but video conferencing has largely overcome that downside.

Have a series of questions prepared beforehand that you ask the representative of each agency you are considering. Facts like average wait time and the number of adoptions completed annually are important, but adoption specialists encourage you to look beyond the numbers to whether you like this agency and trust them to help you achieve your goal of creating or expanding your family. This is an important relationship, and there is nothing wrong with moving on from an agency because of a gut feeling.

Avoid any quick decisions. After an interview is complete, take some time to digest it. You can then evaluate how you feel. Ask yourself questions, such as:

  • Did you feel rushed?
  • Was the communication comfortable?
  • Did you feel like the representative understood your concerns?
  • How clear and concise was the information?
  • Was there a prompt turnaround on sending you additional materials?

The Selection Phase

At this point, you have one or more agencies that you feel good about. The goal now is to ensure that everything is as good as it seems.

The reason to save adoption agency vetting until now is to avoid getting bogged down earlier in the process. It is much easier to vet a handful of agencies than the dozens you may initially consider. That said, if you have hired a New Jersey adoption lawyer early in the process, then your attorney will have likely handled much of the vetting as it unfolded.

Begin with state licensing. While licensing standards are not necessarily rigid, an agency that is not licensed or in good standing is a major red flag. Accreditation by the Council of Accreditation is a mark in favor of not only international but domestic adoption agencies. If adopting internationally, you’ll want to consider Hague accreditation and likely move on from agencies that were denied it.

Assistance Choosing an Adoption Agency

If you want to adopt and are considering doing it through an adoption agency, Cofsky & Zeidman is here to help. We are a law firm with extensive agency adoption experience and can assist you in navigating this process, including selecting your agency. To schedule an initial consultation with an adoption lawyer in New Jersey, call our Haddonfield office at (856) 429-5005 or our Woodbury office at (856) 845-2555. We also have an office in Philadelphia to better serve our Pennsylvania clients.

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