New Jersey Appeal Court issues opinion on the Indian Child Welfare Act

New Jersey Appeal Court issues opinion on the Indian Child Welfare ActIn February 2015 a three judge panel of the Appellate Division of the Superior Court of New Jersey issued an opinion involving application of the Indian Child Welfare Act and the requirement to notify an Indian tribe of a pending involuntary termination of parental rights.

The New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency sought to terminate the parental rights of a birth mother who had a long history of drug use and other mental conditions. Although the birth mother had advised the court of family members who may have been members of a recognized Indian tribe, specifically a Cherokee tribe, she could not give specifics as to which tribe or possibly the full names of the family members. She herself had never been registered with a tribe nor had she lived on an Indian reservation.

The trial court found that the statutory standards had been satisfied and terminated her parental rights. On appeal the Appellate Division, while agreeing that the standards for termination had been met under state law, nevertheless found that there had been enough information given that triggered the notice requirement to the tribe under the Indian Child Welfare Act. The court held that the state was required to attempt to follow up on the information received in order to notify the tribe of its right to intervene in the proceeding. The court sent the case back to the trial court with instructions to perform the required search and notification if possible, along with additional instructions if the tribe were to intervene.

This case serves as notice to all petitioners and individuals involved in adoption where there may be eligibility for tribal membership to follow the requirements under ICWA. It is important to note, however, that this was in the context of an involuntary termination of rights as opposed to a voluntary termination of rights which, if all of the requirements are fulfilled, does not require notification to a tribe under ICWA.

Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.

What to Consider When Adopting a Toddler

The Challenges of Adopting a Toddler

What to Consider When Adopting a ToddlerWhile many adoptive parents want only newborns, statistics show that nearly half of all domestic adoptions (47%) and a majority of international adoptions (59%) involve children between the ages of one and four. Authorities say that, with the large numbers of children between the ages of six and 12 months who are adopted from China every year, the likelihood that adoptive parents will bring home a child who has already adapted to another environment are substantial. And they caution prospective birthparents—even children between six and 12 months of age have the awareness to understand a change in circumstances. For the parents, it almost always gets built up to be a joyous occasion, but for the child, according to one adoption specialist, it can feel like “being kidnapped.” And the older the child, the more difficult the transition.

If you are considering adopting a young child, instead of an infant, here are some factors to consider:

  • The child will most likely engage in extreme behaviors—You need to understand that you have taken the child from everything that he or she knows, that has provided any sense of connection or security. The child feels the loss, but lacks the verbal and cognitive skills to communicate that to you. Accordingly, he or she relies on the only tools available—expressions of behavior. Your adopted child may cry for hours on end, break things or act aggressively toward other children, pets or you. You will have to have a great deal of patience.
  • Do you have the physical stamina to keep up with a small child? A typical response by a toddler to a change in environment is to seek constant attention. Your adopted child may want to be held all the time or may want you to play with them on a regular basis. They may be overwhelmed by curiosity, getting into everything.
  • What are your expectations regarding basics, such as toilet-training and sleep patterns? What was the nature of the care the child received before adoption? Were they neglected? If so, they may be developmentally lagging.
  • Who can you turn to for help? There will come times when you are at your wit’s end. Do you have a strong family or other type of support network? You’ll need it.
  • What will the impact be on existing family members? If you already have children, you need to consider how they will respond to having another child in the house. If appropriate, consider involving them in the adoption process.
  • Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

    At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

    Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.

Questions to Ask a Potential Birthmother

Getting the Information You Need from a Prospective Birthmother

3When you are considering adopting an infant, and have learned about a potential birthmother, you may have a lot of questions, the answers to which will help you determine whether the relationship is a good fit. Experts advise caution as you gather information from a potential birthmother. Stigmas remain, and many birthmothers have extreme anxiety about the ways that they are perceived by prospective adoptive parents. You want to be careful that your effort to learn as much as you can doesn’t feel like an interrogation. With that in mind, here are some of the key questions to ask (as well as some questions not to ask) a potential birthmother.

Questions You May Want to Ask

The first, and perhaps most important, question relates to the mother’s due date. You need to know, so that you can plan accordingly. You will also want to know if she’s working with an adoption agency of any kind (unless you met her through your agency). If the birthfather is not part of the conversation, you should ask how he feels about the pregnancy, as well as the idea of adoption.

It’s appropriate to ask when the birthmother first started considering putting the child up for adoption, and how she came to work with the agency or attorney in the case. You can also ask if she knows anyone who has placed a child for adoption, or was adopted.

It’s also a good idea to ask about prenatal or medical care. What type of care has she received? Apart from being pregnant, has she had any other health concerns in the last few months?

Questions You Don’t Want to Ask (Directly, at Least)

There are some questions that, though they may be necessary, should not be asked directly of a birthmother, including whether she was raped, or whether she has used drugs during the pregnancy. These questions can be asked by a third party, such as the agency or attorney. Don’t query the mother on the nature of her sexual activity—if it’s important to know how many men might be the father, the agency or attorney will gather that information. And don’t ask her if she’s considered changing her mind about the adoption—it will only likely make her feel worse.

Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.

Best Practices When Working with Prospective Birthparents

How to Work Most Effectively with Prospective Birthparents

How to Work Most Effectively with Prospective BirthparentsWhen you are seeking to adopt an infant, one of the most harrowing aspects of the process can be the uncertainty involved. Even though you may have met with the prospective birthmother, and feel that you have a relationship of trust, the birthmother can still change her mind, even after the child is born. Statistics show that approximately one-third of adoptive parents have at least one failed adoption effort.

A recent study by Building Your Family asked birthmothers to identify the principal reasons they decided to go through with the adoption of an infant. Here were their responses:

  • Almost universally (95%), the birthmothers said that the ability to screen and choose the adoptive parents made a critical difference.
  • An overwhelming majority of birthmothers (84%) told researchers that the ability to communicate with the adoptive parents before the adoption, whether by phone, e-mail or in person, made them much more inclined to go through with the adoption
  • A majority (60%) cited access to post-adoption services, such as counseling, participation in support groups, and periodic updates about the child, gave them the confidence to complete the process
  • Nearly one in two (47%) said that counseling was essential to completing the process
  • A quarter of the respondents stated that having the ability to talk with other birthmothers who had made an adoption plan convinced them that it was the right thing to do
  • One in five (22%) said their decision was based in part on the willingness of the agency or adopting parents to pay medical expenses.
  • Experts say that, if you want to maximize the chances of successfully working with a prospective birthparent, make certain that the above issues are either discussed or are a part of the process.

    Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

    At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

    Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.

Independent Adoption: An Overview

Adopting a Child without Using an Agency—The Benefits and Risks of Independent Adoption

Though public perception often seems to indicate that most families seeking to adopt work with an adoption agency, statistics show that private or independent adoptions are far more common. Though five states require the use of an adoption agency, agency adoptions typically account for only one in every three adoptions in the United States.

So what is a private or independent adoption, and what are the factors you need to consider?

Adopting a Child without Using an Agency—The Benefits and Risks of Independent AdoptionIn an independent adoption, the adopting parents will typically retain the services of an adoption attorney, who will advise them and help ensure that all legal requirements are met. The lawyer will make certain that all appropriate documentation is filed with the courts, will guide the adopting parents with respect to the home study, and may even assist the adopting parents in the search for a child. The attorney’s role varies from state to state, but customarily involves representation at all hearings, as well as the negotiation of any payments by adoptive parents to birth parents.

The identification of a prospective birth mother, or the location of a child, represents one of the single biggest differences between independent and agency adoptions. With an agency, you generally rely on agency employees and contacts to help you locate a birthmother. In an independent adoption, you must do that yourself. There are many ways that can be done, either through websites, advertising in periodicals, or networking with individuals and professionals who have access to potential birthmothers.

To legally adopt a child, you must obtain the birthparents’ consent to relinquish parental rights. When an agency is involved, the birthparents give up parental rights to the agency. However, in the absence of an agency, parental rights are relinquished to the adopting parents.

The Benefits of Independent Adoption

Statistics show that birthparents prefer to give up a child through a private adoption, rather than an agency adoption. Agency adoptions tend to be more rigid, and birthparents often feel they have less control of and involvement in the process. In addition, with an independent adoption, a child can be transferred directly to the adopting parents. There is no risk of temporary foster care.

The Risks of an Independent Adoption

There are generally three major risks when you seek to adopt a child privately:

  • First, the adoption is not final until the court order is entered. Even if you find a match, and even if you are present when the child is born, the birthmother can still change her mind until the court issues its order.
  • Second, even though more birthmothers prefer independent adoptions, it can still take a long time to be chosen by a birthmother—average wait times are between 12 and 18 months.
  • Finally, the costs are highly unpredictable, ranging from $10,000 to $35,000

Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.

Adopting an Older Child

Tips for Dealing with the Challenges of Adopting an Older Child

Tips for Dealing with the Challenges of Adopting an Older ChildIf you’ve decided to adopt an older child, you’ll find that there are advantages and disadvantages:

  • There are more older children readily available for adoption
  • You’ll have more communication at an earlier level
  • Your child will likely have formed attachments or bonds to other adults
  • Your child will have developed good and bad behaviors

Here are some of the ways that you can help your newly adopted older child adjust more quickly to life in your home:

  • If your child is from another country and English is not a first language, help them learn English as soon as possible. You will be amazed at how quickly they pick it up, but the more you help, the less confused they will be.
  • Keep things low key and normal. Don’t try to make their lives non-stop fun or entertainment. You’ll both overwhelm them and set unrealistic expectations.
  • Be careful that your joy doesn’t inhibit the child from feeling his or her pain or loss—your adopted older child will experience some grief or loss, even if they were in a foster home or an orphanage. Don’t diminish that loss by acting as if everything is fine now that they are in your home. Talk with your child about what they have lost and help them understand that it’s okay for them to feel sad or hurt or whatever emotions come up.
  • Get pictures from the child’s past, if possible. Pictures can help a child make the transition to a new home, allowing them to keep some connection with the past as they become part of your family.

Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.

The Cost of Adoption

Understanding the Cost of an Adoption

Understanding the Cost of an AdoptionMost estimates put the cost of raising a child at more than $20,000 per year, not including the price of a college education. For parents of a biological child, there’s little expense in bringing the child into the home that isn’t covered by insurance. But if you plan or choose to adopt, you can easily add another $10,000 to $40,000, depending on where and how you adopt a child.

Here are the typical costs involved in an adoption proceeding:

  • The agency fee—Usually, the most expensive part of the adoption process is the cost of the adoption agency. An adoption agency will help you complete the paperwork involved with an adoption, complete your home study and usually match you up with a child. Agencies generally have two different fee structures. Some charge a single fee that covers everything. Others charge a minimal agency fee, but charge separately for home study, child matching and other services. The fees can range anywhere from $500 to nearly $40,000.
  • Travel—In most instances, you will have to travel somewhere to bring your baby home. If you are adopting domestically (within the United States), you may travel to meet the prospective birth mother, and you will likely travel again when the child is born. Furthermore, federal law requires that, when a child from one state is adopted by parents from another state, both states must approve the adoption before the child may go home with adoptive parents.

    Most foreign countries require at least one appearance in the child’s home country before you can bring the child home.

  • Other expenses—With a domestic adoption, there can be a lot of expenses for the biological mother that you’ll either be asked to pay or want to pay, including prenatal care, counseling, utilities and other bills. You may also have to pay for background checks. With international adoptions, you will have all costs associated with bringing your child through immigration and naturalization.

Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.

The Adopted Child: Peers and Society

The Adopted Child in Society—No Longer a Stigma Attached

The Adopted Child in Society—No Longer a Stigma AttachedNot so long ago, adopted children were viewed somewhat as social outcasts—the perception often being that they were “illegitimate” or “bastards.” In fact, until the advent of so-called open adoptions, even adoption professionals took a pretty secretive approach to the process. Often, parents would hide the fact from others, even from the adopted children. The secrecy that surrounded the process in many ways fed the societal stigma that an adopted child was “from the other side of the tracks.” Open adoption has changed all that.

With an open adoption, the birth parents and the adoptive parents have the opportunity to meet and get to know each other, and can decide what type of relationship they want after the child is placed. Often, the adoptive parents will choose to perpetuate some form of contact between the child and his or her biological parent. The child then knows from an early age that he or she is adopted. Friends, family and others openly acknowledge and discuss the adoption, so it simply becomes a part of life.

In addition to removing the stigma attached to adoption, the move toward more open adoptions has also allowed children of adoption to have a stronger sense of their identities as they grow. In the past, a child of adoption would have no family history to relate to others. With open adoption, many adoptees can look to the histories of both adoptive and biological families.

Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.

Counselors, Lawyers and Doctors in the Adoption Process

The Importance of Counseling in the Adoption Process

An adoption is a monumental event in the lives of the child, the birthparents and the adoptive parents. It’s not a decision to be made lightly, and probably not a process to experience without some form of counseling.

Counseling for Adoptive Parents

Counselors, Lawyers and Doctors in the Adoption ProcessMany adoptive parents, unfortunately, fail to perceive that some form of counseling prior to, during and even after an adoption may be extremely helpful. A lot will simply say that they want to have a family, can’t do so biologically, so this is what they must do. But a number of unanswered questions can remain:

  • Have you grieved your inability to have children biologically? For many women, this involves a tremendous sense of loss. If you don’t take the time to fully grieve that loss, you will still feel it when you bring home your adopted child. This can have negative consequences. You may see your adopted child as less than what you might have had biologically. You may even convey to your child the sense that they are something you settled for.
  • Do you have a healthy relationship with your spouse? Far too many children are brought into the world and into homes because parents believe they will solve marital problems. They don’t. Most of the time, they only elevate the tensions.
  • Do you or your spouse have other emotional or psychological problems that will negatively affect the child? Everyone has issues, but if your spouse is abusive or you have substance abuse problems, bringing a child in won’t help.

Counseling for Biological Parents

The decision to give up a child for adoption can have a devastating effect on a parent. A birthparent can benefit immensely from a structured counseling program that helps them identify where they’ve been, where they are headed, and how to move toward a more fulfilling life. It is common throughout the process of an adoption for a birth mother to have conflicting sentiments—the desire to do what’s best for the unborn child, and the desire not to “abandon” the child. A professional counselor can help a birthmother objectively view the situation and put all her feeling in perspective.

Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.

Relationships in Open Adoption

Open Adoption—The Option to Maintain Regular Contact

Open Adoption—The Option to Maintain Regular ContactFor many, the idea of an open adoption is a little unnerving. Adoptive parents fear that they’ll continually run into the birth parents at the mall or the grocery store, and that children will have a difficult time understanding that their adoptive home is now their home. Studies show, though, that open adoption has, for the most part, improved the lives of adoptees.

Advocates of open adoption point to a number of factors that suggest that open adoptions are not such a strange concept. They argue that essentially what has happened is that the child’s number of relatives has increased because of the adoption. They point out that this happens in many other ways, including marriage and childbirth. Some studies show that adoptive parents often relate better to birthparents than they do to their own siblings, parents or other blood relatives, contending that birthparent-adoptive parent relationships are made by choice, whereas blood family ties are not. This, they suggest, stems from the fact that birth mothers tend to choose adoptive parents with whom they have similarities.

The relationships between adoptive children, birthparents and adoptive parents can take a variety of forms in an open adoption, as agreed upon by the parties. Some maintain regular contact, but others only see each other on birthdays or other designated days.

Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC

At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.

Contact our office online or call us at (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005 in Woodbury, NJ, or in Philadelphia, PA, at (856) 429-5005.