What You Need to Ask Before Hiring an Adoption Attorney in New Jersey

Essential Questions to Ask an Adoption Lawyer in New Jersey

The most recent data reveals that 1,063 adoptions were finalized in New Jersey in 2015, and many children are still hoping to find adoptive parents to provide them with a permanent home. Whether you are seeking a lawyer to help you with a current adoption in New Jersey or you are trying to find a child to adopt, hiring the right lawyer is important. Ask these five adoption questions to a prospective NJ adoption lawyer to aid you in your search.

1. How Many Years of Experience Does Your Firm Have in Handling Adoptions?

Many types of law firms can handle adoptions. However, not all firms make adoption their primary practice. When looking for a lawyer to handle your adoption in New Jersey, you will be well served to find a firm that is primarily devoted to adoption.

Our firm has over 25 years of experience handling adoptions. We are well acquainted with helping families grow through adoption. Because adoption is our area of primary concern, we have insights into strategies that lead to successful adoptions.

2. How Many Adoptions Has Your Firm Finalized in That Period?

Before you hire a New Jersey adoption attorney, you ought to verify that they have had success in finalizing adoptions. Hiring a lawyer with more experience in this area can make the process more comfortable for the adopting parents, providing peace of mind throughout the process.

Our primary lawyer, Mr. Cofsky, has successfully completed over 1,500 adoptions. In addition, he has represented and advised adoption agencies in various matters of the law throughout the years.

3. What Kinds of Adoptions Does Your Firm Offer?

There are many types of adoptions available in New Jersey, each with their unique complexities. If your adoption is nuanced, be sure to ask specifically about the lawyer’s experience in that area.

At Cofsky & Zeidman, we have experience in many types of adoptions, including private adoptions, agency adoptions, post-adoption issues, foreign adoptions and more.

4. What Qualifications Does the Lawyer Who Handles My Case Have?

Looking into the certifications and qualifications of your adoption lawyer can give you insight into their competence. If the attorney you are considering hiring shows excellence in the field, the entire adoption process may be simplified.

Our NJ adoption attorney, Mr. Cofsky, has been very active in the adoption community and has received awards for his service in this area. Here are some of his credentials and accomplishments:

 

    • Led workshops and lectures at many adoption seminars

 

    • Spoke about adoption-related topics on television

 

    • Is the former president of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys

 

    • Received the title of “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2005

 

 

5. Can I Read Testimonials From Other Clients Who Have Had Successful Adoptions With Your Firm?

Before you hire a lawyer to represent you during the adoption process, you’ll want to read some testimonies from former clients. These accounts will give you insight into the quality of care and competence of the lawyer from real parents.

Our law firm, Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, has received 5-star reviews from our previous clients. Marco writes:

“I could write volumes praising Mr. Cofsky. An online review is way too short to describe such an incredible attorney. Mr. Cofsky is professional, precise, knowledgeable, dependable…and most importantly, incredibly caring. He’s an awesome lawyer. I would hire him again in a heartbeat.”

Read more reviews here.

How to Schedule an Adoption Consultation Today

While the adoption process can be complicated, an attorney could help you get through the process. If you have additional adoption questions, schedule a confidential consultation to learn more about your rights and options. Our main office is located in Haddonfield, New Jersey. You can give us a call at (856) 429-5005 today. For additional ways to contact us, visit our contact portal.

Do You Need Consent From a Father Before Adopting?

Can a Previously Unacknowledged Biological Father Challenge an Adoption?

While finalizing an adoption can be straightforward if both parents consent or had their rights terminated, the process gets trickier if the biological father was not in the picture. Many adoptive parents end up worrying that an unknown father can appear one day and try to regain custody of their child. Understanding how paternal rights in New Jersey work can help reduce stress during this challenging process.

Understanding How Paternity Is Established

Many people in the process of adopting a child want to know what they should do if a man suddenly appears claiming to be the biological father. In these sorts of cases, it’s important to figure out whether the biological father has actually legally claimed paternity for the child. If the father was not married to the mother and has taken no legal steps to try to claim paternity, they cannot just show up and take your adopted child. They are only able to get involved with the adoption process if they have legally established paternity.

Usually, if both the biological mother and father agree that the father is the biological parent, they can fill out a voluntary certificate of parentage. If they do not agree, the person claiming to be the biological father can try petitioning the court to establish his paternity with a DNA test. Keep in mind that just establishing initial paternity does not mean a man will have the right to get custody of your adoptive child. It is simply a legal acknowledgment that the person is in fact the biological father.

How to Tell If a Father Actually Has Rights


In these sorts of situations, the main thing to focus on is whether the biological father has any parental rights in the first place. A father may automatically lose his rights if he was involved in a serious crime like the rape or assault of the mother. However, the usual reason that a biological father does not have rights is just that he waited too long to establish paternity.

The simplest option in an adoption with an unknown father is often not getting the biological father involved at all. In most areas, if the biological father does not establish paternity within a set amount of time, his parental rights are automatically terminated. This time period varies depending on location. It’s 120 days in New Jersey. The clock starts either when the child is born or when the preliminary adoption hearing is held, whichever occurs first.

How to Handle a Father Who Still Retains His Parental Rights

If you start the adoption process without knowing who the biological father is, there is a chance in the first few months that he could show up soon enough to still have paternal rights. Of course, the simplest option is just convincing him too also consent to the adoption. However, if that does not happen, you may still be able to finalize the adoption of your child.

Usually, these types of situations will end up being decided by the court. Our NJ adoption lawyer is capable of discussing these sorts of contested adoptions with clients. If you can show that the father has not tried to regularly care for the child and that he is unlikely to be able to care for the child in the future, you may still be able to finalize the adoption.

Ultimately, you usually do not need to be concerned as long as enough time has passed since the child was born. However, these sorts of cases can be complex, so it’s still important to have an experienced NJ adoption lawyer on your side. At Cofsky & Zeidman, we have a talented team that will be happy to help you navigate all the local and federal laws about adoption. You can call our office in Haddonfield at (856) 429-5005 or our office in Woodbury at (856) 845-2555 to learn more about your options.

Can You Adopt a Child in New Jersey?

You Don’t Have to Be Related to Adopt a Child

There are various ways to adopt a child in New Jersey. While many adoptions are completed by married couples, other relatives and third parties are also qualified to go through the process. For example, adoption by a stepparent is the most common type of adoption in the U.S.

Several Types of Adoptions

Third-party adoption agencies are the traditional way to adopt a child. It is often an unrelated child that is placed with the adoptive parents. These parents undergo an extensive background check to make sure they can meet the emotional and financial needs of the child. After the adoption, the parents are often monitored by the agency to ensure the child is thriving in the new environment. With this type of adoption, the biological parents sign away all legal rights to the child.

Open Adoptions

Until recently, most adoptions were considered to be closed. In such cases, the biological parents had no contact with the child or the adoptive parents. Many children with these types of adoptions did not have the legal right to contact their biological parents until the age of 18. Today, adoption protocols have changed. Many biological parents know who completed the adoption, and they may even be in communication with the family.

Stepparent Adoptions


Stepparent adoption is becoming more common in the United States. When the one parent remarries, the other spouse may want to adopt the children. In this case, the other parent must give up their rights to children for the adoption to proceed in the court.

Second-Parent Adoption

In the past, same-gender couples often faced an uphill battle for the non-biological parent to adopt the children. If the couple breaks up or a spouse dies, the other spouse had no legal rights to the child. However, federal courts have been ruling that a non-biological parent partner can adopt their partner’s children. For this to happen, the other biological parent must give up the right to the children. This only extends to unmarried same-sex partners. Married couples can adopt in the same manner as a stepparent adoption.

Grandparent Adoptions

In the United States, many grandparents are raising their grandchildren. In some cases, the parents are unable to provide care and choose to give up their parental rights. In the past, this type of arrangement was done without any legal agreement. Today, many grandparents are choosing to have formal custody arrangements in place for the children. These agreements help the grandparents seek medical treatments for the kids or enroll the children in school without any disruption. It also protects the child if the biological parents want to restore their custody rights.

Rights of the Biological Parents

Biological parents’ rights cannot be terminated without cause. Many biological parents choose to give up their rights to their kids. However, the courts may step in and terminate the rights of “unfit” parents. After this happens, the child can be adopted by another party. For a child to be adopted, both parents must give up their rights. Fathers also have equal rights to their children, and the mother cannot give up a child without the consent of the father. If you have questions about your rights, contact a New Jersey adoption attorney today.

Children’s Consent

If the child is age 11 or under, he or she does not have to consent to the adoption. If the child does not want to be adopted by a certain individual, this can raise red flags with the courts. After the age of 12, the child must give his or her consent for the adoption to proceed.

Contact an New Jersey Adoption Attorney

An experienced attorney can help you navigate through the legal process of adoption. Whether you are a grandparent, stepparent, second-parent, or third party, Donald Cofsky can help you with the adoption. We can help make sure that all the legal requirements are met in your case. To learn more, contact our Haddonfield, NJ, office at (856) 429-5005 or our Woodbury, NJ, office at (856) 845-2555.

Costs Associated With Adopting a Child

Expenses Adopting Parents Should Expect

According to recent research, the average cost of an independent adoption is more than $34,000, and the average cost of an agency adoption is nearly $40,000. An interesting note is that adoptions in which an attorney represented the adopting parents were less expensive. An important advantage of hiring our NJ adoption attorney is being able to prepare for the ancillary expenses that come with adopting a child.

Court Costs

The most basic cost associated with adoption is the filing fee, which courts charge in order to process your adoption filing. Filing fees are standard in the state in which the adoption is being processed. While this is a fixed cost, there can be other related charges, such as:

  • Documentation fees
  • Immigration processing
  • Expenses related to witnesses
  • Court expenses for the birth mother

Home Study

Undergoing a home study prior to adopting is a requirement for people in New Jersey. A big role our NJ adoption attorney can play in your adoption is helping you understand what is required of you and how to minimize the costs. Starting a home study requires some basics, such as driver’s licenses, marriage certificates, birth certificates and so forth. You may also need to provide tax returns, documents concerning assets, proof of various insurance policies and so forth. The home study itself does comprise multiple in-home assessments, but it is, at its core, an educational program provided by an independent party designed to prepare individuals who want to adopt children. Topics of study include:

  • Needs of children
  • What prospective parents should expect
  • Responsibilities that come with being an adoptive parent
  • Relationships with social workers

Birth Mother Expenses

Covering expenses for the birth mother is often expected. This is true when coordinating a private adoption, but it can also be the case when dealing with an agency because the needs of the mother can go above and beyond what the company is able to provide based on the fees it charges. Certainly, during a private adoption, the adopting parent is expected to cover “everything.” Nevertheless, even in more structured scenarios, the adopting parent may elect to pay more in the best interest of the child. These additional expenses can include:

  • Legal fees
  • Medical expenses
  • Prescriptions, vitamins and nutrition
  • Traveling costs
  • Counseling fees
  • Temporary living expenses

Travel Expenses

When you set out to adopt a child, you have certain goals in mind. Achieving them may require you to travel as well as the birth mother. Be mindful that travel expenses extend beyond just fuel costs to those related to accommodations away from home, meals eaten each day, traveling and even wear and tear on the vehicles used. There can be ways to offset these expenses, but these will certainly be costs that you will need to manage on a day-to-day basis with assistance from your legal representation.

Tax Credit and State Subsidies

When it comes to adoption expenses, while much of the focus is often on debits, there can be credits as well. Tax credits, for instance, are an important reason to consult with a lawyer, and such credits can actually cover not only your personal expenses but any amount your employer contributed, which is something that many companies are willing to do. There are also subsidies available from states, including New Jersey, that make adoptions more practical for everyone.

The Local Representation You Need

Are you considering adoption? Have you begun the adoption process and now require legal assistance? The law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, would love to assist you. Our law firm focuses only on adoptions, and we have more than 25 years of experience. Our focus extends to private adoptions, agency adoptions, stepparent adoptions, assisted reproduction and more. Initial consultations are provided at no cost and without obligation, and you can contact us online or call our office in Haddonfield, New Jersey, at (856) 429-5005 or our office in Woodbury, New Jersey, at (856) 845-2555.

The Stages of Transitioning From Infertility to Adoption

Transitioning From the Struggles of Infertility to Adoption

Overall, more than 7 million people in the U.S. experience infertility. If you’ve attempted fertility treatments without success, then you’ve likely had feelings of anger and grief; for most people, these feelings shift into acceptance. When this happens, you will be ready to begin the journey of adoption with an open mind and heart, and our NJ adoption lawyer can help you with the process.

National Infertility Awareness Week

National Infertility Awareness Week, which takes place every April, was created to increase awareness of an important issue. According to estimates, one in eight couples receives an infertility diagnosis. Many of these people get a new hope of raising a child by eventually transitioning into adoption.

How an Adoption Lawyer Can Help

An adoption lawyer will help you find an agency. He or she can also give you guidance if you are considering an independent adoption. In this case, an adoption lawyer will ready the required paperwork to ensure that you have a successful adoption. If court appearances are necessary, then your adoption lawyer will be there with you to help you through the entire process. When choosing legal representation, hire a law firm that understands New Jersey’s adoption requirements.

Finding out that your fertility treatments are ineffective can be an emotional experience that requires time to accept. Since adoption is a lengthy process, you may want to reach out to an adoption lawyer right away. It is likely that you will have the time to work through your emotional state before a child will be placed with you. If you are open to adopting a child with special needs, you can expect the process to take several months. The wait for a healthy infant could take two to seven years.

How Much Does It Cost?

When it comes to cost, the amount that you’ll pay is likely to be in the same realm as the cost of fertility treatments. These can be pricey, especially if you try multiple rounds of IVF or artificial insemination. The cost of foster care adoptions ranges from nothing to $2,500 while licensed private adoptions vary from $5,000 to $40,000 or more. Independent adoptions are from $8,000 to $40,000 or more, and facilitated adoptions run from $5,000 to $40,000 or more. If you go with an intercountry adoption, then you can expect to pay from $7,000 to $30,000.

Adoption lawyers charge an individual hourly rate, and some charge an advanced fee. Depending on the type of adoption, it is likely that you will pay several thousand dollars for the services of an adoption lawyer.

How to Choose an Adoption Lawyer

Since an adoption lawyer will help you grow your family, it is important to hire counsel who will be attentive to your needs at all times. Word of mouth can be a great way to find an attorney. You can also do a lot of research on the internet. Most states feature lawyer listings based on category. Make sure that you hire a lawyer who is licensed in your state.

When talking to potential adoption law firms, ask whether you’ll be working with the attorney directly or if a member of his or her staff will be handling the bulk of your case. Also, determine the hours that your attorney works and how he or she prefers to be in contact with you. For instance, will you mainly be emailing back and forth, or will your attorney be available for phone calls?

It’s also wise to seek out a local adoptive parent support group. Not only will a group like this help you deal with the emotional side of adoption, but it could also vouch for a law firm.

Getting Legal Help for Adoption

Our NJ adoption lawyer will be able to help you navigate the system efficiently and properly, making sure that everything is done the right way. At Cofsky & Zeidman, we have experience helping couples with adoption. Call our office in Haddonfield at (856) 429-5005 or our office in Woodbury at (856) 845-2555 today to schedule an appointment.

Further Decline in International Adoptions

 

On March 14, 2019 the US Department of State released its 2018 annual report on inter-country adoptions.  The report shows that only 4,059 children were adopted through inter-country adoption between October 1, 2017 through September 30, 2018.  This represents almost 15 percent fewer children from the previous year and an 82 percent decline since 2004 when over 20,000 children had been adopted in the United States from abroad.  This is a new historic low.

 

This is very troubling since there are millions of children without families throughout the world who would benefit from inter-country adoption and there are tens of thousands of qualified American families who are willing to adopt them.  Unfortunately the United States is unwilling to work with many countries around the world to alleviate this problem which will only get worse.

The Biggest Hurdles to Adopting a Child

Problems to Consider When Choosing to Adopt

There are close to 135,000 adoptions each year in the U.S. Many of these cases go through a lengthy process that involves numerous steps. By understanding all of the potential hurdles, a parent can make sure that every stage of a legal adoption goes according to plan.

Adoption Basics

An adoption occurs when a biological parent passes his or her legal rights and obligations to a new adoptive guardian or guardians. Of course, there’s a lot that goes into obtaining parental rights. There are many different ways to go about adopting a child in New Jersey. Some of the most common options include the following:

  • Adopting through an agency
  • Adopting as a step parent
  • Adopting directly through the birth parents
  • Adopting as a relative

Potential Legal and Financial Issues

No matter which type of adoption a family goes through, the legal challenges can be numerous and difficult. For instance, it’s possible that one of the birth parents may not be aware of the adoption. This can bring about an array of legal hassles if the biological parent has yet to relinquish their rights to the child in question.

There are also a variety of legal problems that can occur with an inter-country adoption. These typically relate to specific adoption laws of the child’s home country. In order to better avoid these issues, you might want to call a New Jersey adoption lawyer that can identify potential problems before they occur. There are also a variety of visa requirements that may be necessary when trying to adopt from certain countries.

The potential financial problems depend on the type of adoption you’re thinking about going through. For instance, private adoptions and foreign adoptions usually come with more expenses than adopting through foster care. The same is true if you’re undergoing an open adoption wherein you’re going to be having some contact with the birth parents. It’s possible for the initial financial expenses of the adoption to include the medical bills related to the birth if the adoption is set to occur immediately after the child is born.

Health Problems and Emotional Issues

Obtaining pertinent information about a child’s health issues and health history is another common issue with many adoptions. Not having this information at the time of the adoption may cause problems later on if the child gets sick. Medical problems can make it difficult for the adoptive family to properly care for the child if they don’t have the funds to do so and didn’t anticipate the issues. Inherited diseases and possible drug use during pregnancy can bring about long-lasting health issues and developmental problems in a child. These are just a few reasons why medical history is so important.

Among the most common challenges of any adoption is dealing with the emotional issues that can occur with the child, adoptive family or birth parents. There are times when adoptive parents rush into the adoption without fully understanding all of the parenting challenges that occur after adopting a child. It’s also possible that the adopted child won’t be able to properly adjust to their new family. Furthermore, open adoptions can cause issues if the birth parents continue to maintain a high amount of contact with the child. The birth parents may even come to regret their choice to place the child up for adoption.

How Our New Jersey Adoption Lawyers Can Help You

Here at Cofsky & Zeidman, our attorneys have extensive experience in handling adoption cases in Southwest New Jersey. This experience has given us the knowledge necessary to comprehend and address any challenges that might occur throughout the adoption process. Since we handle many different types of adoption proceedings, our lawyers can provide you with assistance in anything from international adoptions to foster adoptions. If you ever have any questions about the adoption process, our firm offers confidential consultations that should prove useful.

If you’re interested in adopting a child and would like some legal assistance, call our Haddonfield,New Jersey adoption lawyer today at (856) 429-5005.

Are You Considering a Transracial Adoption?

Deciding if a Transracial Adoption Is Right for You

If you’ve decided that adoption is right for you, perhaps you are now narrowing down the specifics of the child you would like to welcome into your family. In addition to deciding on age, gender, and whether the adoption will be domestic or international, you’ll want to think of the issue of race. Prospective adoptive parents are increasingly considering adopting a child of a race different from their own; in fact, in the last 20 years, transracial adoption has increased by 50 percent and is now much more common than it once was.

Think Carefully About These Issues When Considering a Transracial Adoption

You’ve likely already examined many of the facets of adoption, including how you’re going to make an adopted child feel like she or he belongs. However, transracial adoptions bring up additional concerns you should explore. You know you want to give a child you adopt a stable, nurturing environment, but you should also ask yourself the following questions:

  • How inclined are you to ensure your child has contact with members of their own ethnicity and culture? If you live in a community where your child will not see her skin color or appearance mirrored, are you willing to change schools or even move to a place that’s more diverse?
  • How willing are you to confront people who may make inappropriate remarks, over and above those many adopted children already hear about not looking like the rest of their family?
  • Are you willing to stand up to racist people, including friends, family, and co-workers, who may display anything from subtly negative attitudes to out-and-out aggression?
  • Do you have friends of the same ethnicity as the child you’re thinking of adopting? If the answer is no, are you willing to at least start attending cultural events, familiarize yourself with a new language, or eat and cook the foods of your adopted child’s culture?

Are Transracial Adoptions Handled Differently?

The fact that the adoption will be transracial doesn’t affect most parts of the adoption process. You will still need to choose a type of adoption, select a PA adoption attorney to assist you, consider how you will pay for adoption expenses, and go through a home study.

However, if it’s a domestic adoption, there is one respect in which it may be affected by the fact that it is transracial. A federal law called the Indian Child Welfare Act specifies that certain requirements be met if a child who is eligible for membership in a federally recognized Indian tribe is going to be adopted by a non-Native family. The child’s tribe must give consent. The law was enacted in 1978 when many Indian children were being removed from Indian homes and placed in foster care or with parents who weren’t Indian. You would have to be sure you are complying with any conditions specified by the ICWA in order to adopt a child of Native American heritage. Your PA adoption attorney can advise you in more depth about adoption and the ICWA.

It’s fairly common for international adoptions to be transracial. You will, of course, have to comply with the requirements of the country in question, and those do vary quite a bit from one nation to another.

What to Look for in an Adoption Agency

In addition to checking to see if an adoption agency is duly licensed and approved by the state, parents should inquire to see what experience the agency may have with transracial adoptions. If they’ve handled this type of adoption before, they will often be able to guide parents to counselors or resources oriented toward raising multiracial families, including support groups or references to grown transracial adoptees.

Giving a child a home is enormously rewarding, and a transracial adoption is one way to create or add to a family. If you’re interested in an appointment with attorney Donald C. Cofsky to explore your adoption options, call our law office in Philadelphia at (215) 563-2150.

Do You Need a Family Adoption Lawyer?

Why Hiring a New Jersey Adoption Attorney Is a Good Idea

One of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make in your life is expanding your family. If you’re considering expanding yours through adoption, there are a variety of intricate details that must not be overlooked. It’s estimated between 10-16% of adoptions of children under age 3 are disrupted. Considering the process can sometimes take years, this can be devastating.

Although you can go through the process without the guidance of an experienced lawyer, going at it alone can slow down the process and increase the risk of mistakes along the way. An experienced New Jersey adoption attorney can help pave the path to happiness.

What is the Role of a Family Adoption Lawyer?

When a child isn’t biologically yours, you have to go through a process to achieve legal guardianship. Whether you already have a child in mind or are ready to explore options, your attorney can help you every step of the way. Just a few things with which they can offer reliable assistance include:

  • Filing paperwork
  • Finding a reliable adoption agency to work with
  • Representing you in court if that becomes necessary

Your child adoption attorney is there to listen to your primary personal family goals and get the ball rolling to help you achieve them.

How Do I Know If I Need a Child Adoption Lawyer?

Chances are you don’t have an extensive background on adoption. While it would seem to be a pretty straightforward process, there are various issues that can arise. Just a few unethical practices adoption agencies are known to engage in include:

  • Representing themselves as credentialed when they, in fact, are not
  • Claiming they can place children from countries that are either permanently or temporarily banned
  • Charging fees that are higher than normal
  • Taking action to conceal negative reviews to mislead potential customers

Although it’s unfortunate, there are bad apples in every barrel. When you work with an experienced adoption attorney, you can reduce your risk of running into unnecessary problems and more quickly achieve your goal of expanding your family.

Types of Adoptions We Can Handle

We understand our clients each have a very unique set of circumstances that require our close attention to detail. We are knowledgeable in state and country-specific adoption law, and we’re confident in our ability to provide you with reliable representation. Just a few types of adoptions we can help with include:

  • Private adoptions working directly with birth parent(s) without an intermediary
  • Agency adoption
  • Stepparent adoption

Assisted Reproductive Technology

Technology is constantly innovating, and there are a variety of exciting new ways you can expand your family despite trouble conceiving. Our team can help you examine your options and ensure the highest caliber of legal support throughout the process. Just some of the options out there include:

  • Embryo donation
  • Sperm donation
  • Surrogacy
  • Egg donation

Affordable Adoption Lawyer at Your Service

Life is too short to put off the prospects of having a family to call your own. We all need a strong support base and people we can count on for love, joy and lasting memories.

Whether you are having trouble getting pregnant, have a stepchild whom you’d like to legally call your own, or are a same-sex couple ready to introduce a new member to the family, our team is here to offer our services at a price you can afford. When you work with us, we work to:

  • Help you understand pricing to ensure you get the help you need without breaking the bank.
  • Explore every option to arrive at an ideal solution for your unique circumstances.
  • Provide peace of mind through the entire process to keep stress low and increase your chances of a successful adoption the first time around.

We’re never too far away to provide the help you need. Call (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield today to schedule your initial consultation.

Why You Need to Set Clear and Early Boundaries in an Open Adoption

How to Maintain Family Boundaries in an Open Adoption

Every year in the United States, about 135,000 children are adopted. Of those adoptions, around 67 percent are at least partially open. When you go through the process of an adoption agreement with the birth mother or birth parents, it’s important to set up the parameters of how open the adoption will be, how frequent the interactions will be, and what types of interactions you’ll allow the biological parents and family to have with your child.

Determine the Types of Allowed Interactions

Your adoption agreement should determine the types of allowed interactions. For example, you might prefer that the adoptive parents write letters or call your child over the phone. You may want to disallow text messages and unannounced visits at your home. Your adoption agreement can detail the types of allowed interactions. This type of boundary setting ensures that everyone understands the expectations for communication.

Think About the Frequency and Timing of Interactions

You may also want to consider the frequency and timing of the interactions between the biological parents of your child and your family. If you adopt a newborn, then the biological parents might want updates about the child’s development. As the child gets older, the biological parents might want a semiannual or yearly update about the child’s health, interests, and overall well-being. The biological parents might also want to send a birthday card, or your child might want to send a Mother’s Day card to his or her biological mother. You may need to account for all of these issues in the adoption agreement.

Establish Rules and Guidelines for Behavior

You may also want to control the subject matter of written communications and discussions with your child’s biological parents. Setting this type of behavior guideline allows you to broach sensitive subjects on your timeline. Your family will be less likely to have to deal with controversial subjects if you can agree in advance to not discuss them. For example, your child’s biological mother may not want the child to know that the pregnancy was the result of an assault. You may not want the biological mother to ask your child about whether you’re raising the child to have a particular type of belief system. Your adoption agreement could include topics such as not condemning the other’s religious beliefs.

Put the Focus on the Child’s Well-Being

Another consideration for setting boundaries with the biological parents of your child is putting the focus on the child’s well-being. Your child should be put first even if it makes you uncomfortable. Whether or not you agree with the biological parents’ lifestyle, past behavior, or current behavior shouldn’t matter. The focus of every interaction should be the development of a relationship that benefits your child now and well into the future.

Determine Interactions as the Child Grows

When your child becomes a tween or a teenager, he or she is likely to have more of his or her own opinions about interacting with his or her biological parents. Teens test boundaries within the home, and they may push against some of your established rules. You may need to re-evaluate some boundaries on an as-needed basis. Once your child reaches the age of 18, you’ll no longer be able to set or maintain rules for the types, frequency, and depth of interaction between him or her and the biological parents.

Working with a PA adoption lawyer allows you to have these boundaries clearly established in your adoption agreement with your child’s biological parents. As a Pennsylvania adoption lawyer, Donald C. Cofsky looks forward to representing you throughout the adoption process. Contact us at the Law Office of Cofsky & Zeidman by phone at (215) 563-2150 in order to schedule a consultation with our PA adoption lawyer in Philadelphia.

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