The Struggles of Adopting as a Hopeful Single Parent
Prospective adoptive parents who are single often worry that they’ll be overlooked in favor of married couples. Despite this common concern, unmarried people were responsible for roughly one-third of all U.S. foster care adoptions in 2011. Even with positive facts like these, it’s easy for a hopeful adoptive parent to get discouraged.
Challenge: Not Having a Support System
As social creatures, having a solid support system is directly related to general life success. Outside of helping us through tough times, support systems give us more friends and greater satisfaction in life.
Adoptive agencies usually perform home studies to see how you might fare as an adoptive parent. One thing they’re going to inspect is your support system.
Solution: Building Rock-Solid Relationships
Building relationships with friends, co-workers and peers isn’t an overnight process. Fortunately, however, consistently showing support to others over the long run will undoubtedly result in strong relationships. If you’re not sure where to start, joining clubs, churches and other organizations is always a good first step.
If you’ve already got enough relationships, make sure to communicate your concerns about adopting when single. True friends will show their support, giving you a sense of who you can count on.
Challenge: Financial Stressors
People get married for many reasons, including having children and financial stability.
One study from Ohio State University found that married couples tend to generate more wealth than their single counterparts. One 2005 study showed that, after a decade of marriage, single participants reported having a net worth of $11,000, which was nearly four times as small as married participants reported net worth of $43,000. Even after doubling the single participants’ net worth, $22,000 still pales in comparison to $43,000.
Although having two household income streams can improve financial stability, countless married couples still struggle with debt and overall financial management.
Solution: Cultivating Financial Stability
Every adoption agency is different. While yours might not, many agencies do consider hopeful parents’ personal finances.
Proving long-term financial stability is unarguably the best way to resolve your concerns about finances as a single parent. Even if it takes a few years, consider putting your adoption efforts on the back burner to improve your financial situation.
Before applying, make sure you have enough in savings to pay for living expenses for several months should you lose your job or get injured. Also known as an emergency fund, this account should contain enough cash to completely cover three to six months’ worth of household expenses.
Qualifying for adoption grants and loans could also help someone. In addition to making your parental prospects more attractive, financial aid could make your experience much easier. If you have already tried to apply and haven’t had much success, a New Jersey adoption attorney could help you by strengthening your existing application and helping you avoid common adoption application pitfalls.
Challenge: Workplace Woes
Parents, both adoptive and biological, often expend substantial financial resources paying for day care or babysitters. Although most working parents, especially single ones, will need to pay for child care services at least intermittently, careful planning can limit your reliance on third-party child care.
Solution: Finding a Flexible Employer That Values You
The more value you provide to employers, the better they’ll treat you in return. As long as you show your true worth in the workplace, you shouldn’t have trouble finding a flexible employer. Still, some managers or business owners won’t recognize value when they see it.
Before applying for adoption, try finding a job that offers plenty of flexibility. Holding down a job like this for several years before going through with a single parent adoption can pay off big time in the long run.
Need Help? Look No Further
Parenting isn’t supposed to be easy. As a hopeful adoptive parent, however, parenting can seem especially difficult. Whether you are just now thinking about adopting or have already had success as an adoptive parent, seeking help from a New Jersey adoption attorney can help.
If you are single and want to adopt a child, let our team at Cofsky & Zeidman help. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has spent much of his career advocating for adoptive parents in the Garden State and across the country. In fact, Mr. Cofsky is the former president of the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys, one of the country’s leading legal voices on adoption.
You can contact Cofsky & Zeidman’s main office in Haddonfield, New Jersey, by calling (856) 429-5005. If you’re closer to Woodbury, feel free to call our Woodbury office at (856) 845-2555.

Let Your Kids Know There May Be Bumps in the Road
4. Do I Have Child Care?
Whether you choose to adopt privately, through the state, or through the insurance, expect to spend a lot of time completing paperwork. Depending on the course of your adoption, you may have several court dates where you need to speak to a judge as well. Though it is technically possible to do this yourself, almost no one does. Working with a
For adopted children who were under the age of 18 before February 27, 2001, the Child Citizen Act of 2000 applies. This act allows all child adoptees to get citizenship as long as they meet certain requirements. However, the child or their family members still have to apply. Otherwise, citizenship is not granted to the child. Those who are too old to meet the cutoff also need to apply for citizenship, but things are a little trickier. The adoptees will need to go through the usual citizen application process instead of the streamlined version now available to younger adoptees.
The adoption conversation is too important and identity-forming to simply drop on a child during a casual moment. Instead, you should choose when to have this conversation based on the circumstances of the adoption and the child’s emotional and developmental needs.
In many cases of grandparent adoption in NJ, the grandchild is already living with the grandparent by the time they decide to seek adoption. However, if your grandchild isn’t already living with you, it’s a good idea to take steps toward moving them in. After the parent is deemed unfit and the child is removed from their custody, the Department of Children and Families typically prioritizes family members.
The pandemic may cause delays in the adoption process for various reasons. Governmental departments are facing unexpected illness rates that have caused them to decrease their functionality and assistance towards the public.
One of the most important steps in bringing your adopted child into the fold is introducing him or her to the most important people in your life. Unfortunately, COVID-19 will preclude the possibility of getting them all together at once. Parents are now faced with the issue of trying to introduce children to friends and family members remotely, a process that can feel both frustrating and overwhelming to children who are still attempting to get their bearings in a new environment.
Losing your job during COVID-19 doesn’t just impact your income—it can also impact your housing situation. If you have to move because of a drop in income, you may find that certain parts of the adoption process are impacted. While adopting a child during COVID-19 is hard enough on its own, having to go back and conduct basic things like home inspections can make the process seem significantly harder. This is, however, an unfortunate necessity if you move.