Celebrating “Gotcha Day”

Celebrating Gotcha Day is a meaningful milestone for adoptive families. It marks the day a child joins their new family and symbolizes a fresh start filled with love, hope, and commitment. This special occasion is celebrated by families who want to honor the journey of adoption and the moment when the child became a permanent part of their lives. It is a day that holds deep emotional significance and provides an opportunity for both reflection and celebration.

Gotcha Day is widely recognized by adoptive families as a day of unity and joy. It represents the moment when the child was welcomed into a nurturing home. For many families, the celebration goes beyond the legal process of adoption. It is a personal and emotional event that emphasizes the bond formed between the child and their adoptive parents. The day is filled with gratitude, and it reminds everyone involved of the sacrifices and love that made the adoption possible.

The emotional significance of Gotcha Day cannot be overstated. For adoptive parents, this day is a chance to celebrate the moment they said, “We got you.” It is a day that encapsulates years of hope, planning, and anticipation. At the same time, it acknowledges the child’s past experiences and honors the journey they have taken to arrive at a safe and loving home. The celebration often includes a mix of emotions, from joy and excitement to reflection and healing. Children who are adopted, especially those who are older or have faced hardships, benefit greatly from a day that validates their identity and emphasizes their worth.

One of the best ways to celebrate Gotcha Day is by creating special traditions that are unique to your family. Many families choose to mark the day with annual celebrations that become cherished rituals over the years. Some families host a festive dinner where everyone shares stories and memories. Others might plan a day trip, a picnic, or even a quiet family gathering at home. The key is to create a celebration that reflects your family’s values and honors the child’s background. Traditions can include anything from a special meal to a photo session that captures the joy of the day, or even writing letters that express feelings of love and gratitude. Over time, these traditions become a permanent part of the family’s story, building a legacy of love and commitment.

In addition to family traditions, many adoptive parents choose to involve the child in planning their Gotcha Day celebrations. This inclusion helps empower the child and reinforces their sense of belonging. When a child contributes ideas—whether it is choosing a theme, selecting activities, or even planning the menu—they feel more connected to the celebration. Their voice matters, and their input can transform the day into a truly personal event. Involving the child also provides an opportunity for the family to learn more about the child’s interests and cultural background, if applicable, and to integrate those elements into the celebration. This approach not only builds confidence in the child but also strengthens the bonds within the family.

For families that have adopted a child from a different cultural background, Gotcha Day offers a chance to celebrate diversity and honor heritage. It is important to integrate elements that reflect the child’s cultural roots. This might include traditional foods, music, dances, or customs that are significant to the child’s heritage. Embracing these elements shows respect for the child’s background and helps the child maintain a connection with their cultural identity. It also provides an educational opportunity for the entire family to learn about and appreciate traditions that might be new to them. A celebration that honors cultural heritage can be a powerful reminder that a family’s strength lies in its diversity and the unique experiences that each member brings to the table.

Alongside the celebration of cultural heritage, Gotcha Day is also a time for reflection. It is a day to consider the journey that led to adoption and to recognize the growth that has occurred since that momentous day. Families often use this time to discuss what the day means to them, share personal stories, and reflect on the challenges they have overcome. This reflection can be facilitated through activities such as writing in a family journal or creating a memory book. A memory book that documents each year’s celebration serves as a lasting record of the family’s journey. It captures moments of joy, struggle, and triumph, and over time, becomes a treasured keepsake that tells the story of the child’s life and the family’s bond.

Another meaningful way to celebrate Gotcha Day is by organizing a family event that includes extended family and close friends. These gatherings not only celebrate the child’s arrival but also build a wider support network. Friends and relatives who attend the celebration can offer additional love and validation, reinforcing the idea that the child is embraced by a caring community. Such events might include a shared meal, a group activity, or a simple gathering where everyone can express their well wishes. This communal celebration underscores the importance of a support system in the adoption journey and creates lasting memories for everyone involved.

While planning these celebrations, it is important to keep in mind that Gotcha Day is also a reflection of the legal journey that brought the family together. The legal process of adoption involves many steps, from the initial application to the final court hearing that solidifies parental rights. The secure legal status of an adoptive family provides the foundation for all celebrations, including Gotcha Day. Knowing that all legal requirements have been met and that the child’s rights are protected offers a sense of security and peace. This legal certainty allows families to focus on the emotional and celebratory aspects of Gotcha Day without lingering worries about the future.

Adoptive parents who work with experienced legal professionals are better positioned to enjoy these celebrations fully. At Cofsky & Zeidman, the team has over 25 years of experience in handling adoption proceedings. With more than 1,500 families guided through the process, their expertise ensures that every legal detail is managed with precision and care. This level of experience not only facilitates a smooth legal process but also provides families with the confidence they need to celebrate milestones like Gotcha Day with joy and security. The firm’s comprehensive approach covers all aspects of adoption, from managing expenses to finalizing legal agreements, ensuring that every adoptive family has a solid foundation on which to build their future.

Celebrating Gotcha Day is a multifaceted event that combines emotional, cultural, and legal elements. For adoptive parents, it is a day to celebrate the joining of a family, to honor the child’s journey, and to reaffirm the commitments that were made during the adoption process. It is a day marked by both reflection and celebration—a day that offers a moment to pause and appreciate the progress that has been made. It is a reminder that every adoption story is unique, and every celebration is a testament to the resilience and love of the family.

Families are encouraged to tailor their Gotcha Day celebrations to their own unique circumstances. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some families may opt for a large gathering with extended family and friends, while others may prefer an intimate celebration with just the immediate family. The most important aspect is that the celebration feels authentic and meaningful to everyone involved. Whether through shared meals, cultural ceremonies, memory books, or quiet reflection, the goal is to create an atmosphere of love and inclusion.

As adoptive families plan their celebrations, they should also consider future planning. Gotcha Day is not just about commemorating the past; it is also a time to set goals and make plans for the future. Families can use this day to discuss what they hope to achieve in the coming year and to establish new traditions that will grow with the child. This forward-thinking approach helps create a sense of continuity and stability. It reinforces the idea that the adoption journey is ongoing and that every milestone is a step toward a stronger, more unified family.

Reflecting on the past, celebrating the present, and planning for the future all contribute to the richness of Gotcha Day. Each year, the celebration serves as a checkpoint, a moment to acknowledge how far the family has come and to look forward to the opportunities that lie ahead. It is a day filled with hope, love, and endless possibilities. The memories created on Gotcha Day are not only cherished by the child but also by the entire family. They serve as a reminder of the sacrifices made, the hurdles overcome, and the love that binds everyone together.

For adoptive parents, Gotcha Day is also an opportunity to educate others about the adoption process. Sharing the significance of this day can help raise awareness about the importance of adoption and the challenges that many children face. It can serve as a platform for advocacy, encouraging others to support adoption and to understand the complexities involved. By sharing their experiences, adoptive families contribute to a broader dialogue about family formation, cultural diversity, and legal support. These conversations can lead to increased understanding and empathy, ultimately fostering a more inclusive society.

It is essential for families to recognize that Gotcha Day is not solely about celebration but also about acknowledgment. It is a day to honor the legal and emotional work that went into forming the family. The secure legal framework that supports adoption is the backbone of these celebrations. Knowing that all legal aspects are managed professionally allows the family to focus on the emotional significance of the day. When legal matters are taken care of, adoptive parents can fully immerse themselves in the joy of the moment, confident in the knowledge that their child’s rights and well-being are protected.

At Cofsky & Zeidman, the focus is on providing comprehensive legal support that addresses every facet of the adoption process. From the initial consultation to the final court hearing, their experienced team ensures that every detail is handled with care and precision. This commitment to excellence is evident in the many success stories of families who have celebrated Gotcha Day with confidence and peace of mind. The firm’s approach is rooted in decades of experience and a deep understanding of the emotional and legal dimensions of adoption. Their expertise extends to managing expenses, conducting home studies, finalizing legal agreements, and even handling post-adoption matters. This all-encompassing support allows adoptive families to focus on what truly matters—the love and commitment that define their new family.

In conclusion, Gotcha Day is a significant milestone for adoptive families. It is a day that celebrates the joining of a family, honors the child’s journey, and marks the beginning of a lifelong relationship. The celebration is rich with emotional depth, cultural significance, and legal assurance. Families are encouraged to create their own traditions, involve the child in the planning, and reflect on the meaningful progress made over the years. With the right blend of celebration and reflection, Gotcha Day becomes a testament to the strength, resilience, and unconditional love that define adoptive families.

If you are navigating the adoption process and need expert legal guidance, know that support is available. At Cofsky & Zeidman, our experienced team is here to help you secure your family’s future. With over 25 years of experience and a track record of over 1,500 successful adoptions, we are committed to protecting your rights and ensuring a smooth transition for your family. We handle every aspect of adoption, from domestic and international adoptions to post-adoption agreements. Your peace of mind is our priority, so you can focus on celebrating every milestone—like Gotcha Day—with confidence and joy.

Your Gotcha Day celebration is not just about a single moment in time; it is a symbol of the love, commitment, and enduring strength of your family. It is a day to look back on your journey, appreciate the progress you have made, and look forward to the many wonderful moments yet to come. As you plan your celebration, remember that every moment is precious and every memory is a building block for a brighter future. Celebrate with joy, embrace your child’s heritage, and honor the secure legal foundation that made it all possible. May your Gotcha Day be filled with warmth, laughter, and the unwavering knowledge that your family is built on a foundation of love and trust.

Open vs. Closed Adoption from a Legal Perspective

Adoption is a life-changing journey for all parties involved—birth parents, adoptive parents, and the child. One of the most important decisions in the adoption process is whether the adoption will be open or closed. Each arrangement carries distinct emotional, social, and legal implications. Understanding these differences from a legal perspective is essential for adoptive families preparing to navigate the complexities of adoption.

In an open adoption, there is some degree of communication and exchange of information between the birth family and the adoptive family. This can range from occasional letters and photos to in-person visits, depending on the preferences of both parties. In a closed adoption, by contrast, there is no communication after the adoption is finalized, and records identifying the birth parents and adoptive parents are usually sealed.

Historically, closed adoptions were the norm in the United States. In the mid-20th century, societal attitudes toward unwed mothers and adoption practices placed great emphasis on privacy. Closed records were intended to protect all parties, particularly birth mothers, from stigma and to promote a sense of security for adoptive families. However, beginning in the 1980s and 1990s, open adoption became increasingly common as research showed that ongoing contact could benefit children’s emotional development.

Today, data from the Donaldson Adoption Institute shows that approximately 60% to 70% of domestic infant adoptions in the United States are now open to some extent. Each open adoption is different, and the level of openness is typically outlined in a formal agreement known as a post-adoption contact agreement (PACA).

From a legal standpoint, open adoptions present both opportunities and challenges. One key point to understand is that in most jurisdictions, including New Jersey and Pennsylvania, the finalization of an adoption legally terminates the birth parents’ rights. Even in open adoptions, birth parents do not retain parental rights once the adoption is completed. The adoptive parents become the child’s legal parents in every sense.

A post-adoption contact agreement outlines the expectations for communication between birth parents and the adoptive family after the adoption is finalized. These agreements might specify how often photos will be exchanged, whether in-person visits will occur, and how communication will be maintained (e.g., by email, phone calls, or letters). In some cases, they can also include agreements about the role extended birth family members, such as grandparents, may have in the child’s life.

While post-adoption contact agreements are common, their enforceability varies by state. In New Jersey, PACAs are legally recognized and enforceable under certain conditions. For an agreement to be legally binding, it must be approved by the court as being in the best interest of the child. Both the birth parents and adoptive parents must enter into the agreement voluntarily, without coercion. If disputes arise later, the court can intervene to enforce or modify the agreement if doing so would serve the child’s best interests.

Pennsylvania takes a similar approach. State law allows for enforceable post-adoption contact agreements, but only when properly negotiated, documented, and approved during the adoption process. In both states, it is crucial for families to have an experienced attorney who can draft a thorough and clear agreement, ensuring that all terms are enforceable and align with applicable legal standards.

Even with an enforceable agreement, it is important to recognize that the adoptive parents retain legal parental authority. They have the right to make decisions about the child’s welfare, including limiting or discontinuing contact if it is no longer in the child’s best interest. Courts are unlikely to force continued contact if there is credible evidence that doing so would harm the child emotionally or physically.

Closed adoptions, on the other hand, involve no ongoing contact between the birth and adoptive families. The adoption records are sealed, and identifying information is kept confidential. In New Jersey, for example, adoption records have historically been sealed; however, changes to the law in 2017 allowed adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates under specific circumstances. Pennsylvania also permits adult adoptees to request their original birth records through a similar process.

In a closed adoption, because there is no post-adoption communication planned or agreed upon, no post-adoption contact agreement is necessary. Legally, once the court finalizes the adoption and terminates the birth parents’ rights, the adoptive parents are the child’s sole legal parents without any further legal obligations to the birth family.

For some families, closed adoptions provide a sense of finality and privacy. They can be an appropriate choice in cases involving concerns about safety, domestic violence, or drug abuse. Closed adoptions can also be preferred when the birth parents or adoptive parents strongly desire to move forward without ongoing connection. However, it is important to weigh the potential impact on the child, who may later have questions about their biological heritage.

Research suggests that children in open adoptions often have fewer identity struggles during adolescence and feel more connected to both their birth and adoptive families. A 2009 study from the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute found that adoptees who had some form of contact with their birth families generally reported higher levels of satisfaction with their adoption experiences than those who did not.

Nevertheless, openness must be handled thoughtfully. An open relationship that is inconsistent, confusing, or emotionally charged can sometimes cause stress for the child. Boundaries and clear communication are critical to maintaining a healthy open adoption arrangement.

Another important aspect of open and closed adoptions is how they impact access to medical history. In open adoptions, it is often easier to update a child’s medical history over time as birth families remain in communication. In closed adoptions, adoptive families usually receive a one-time medical history report at placement, but there may be no way to obtain future updates.

Regardless of the type of adoption, the adoption decree is the legal document that finalizes the child’s placement with the adoptive family. It gives the adoptive parents full legal rights and responsibilities for the child, and it severs all legal ties between the child and the birth parents. The importance of this legal foundation cannot be overstated, whether an adoption is open or closed.

Navigating the legal issues around open and closed adoptions requires experienced legal counsel. Families must ensure that their adoption plan complies with state laws and that any agreements made are properly documented and enforceable. Legal professionals can also help families understand what rights and responsibilities they are assuming through post-adoption contact agreements.

For more than 25 years, the Law Office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC has helped families throughout New Jersey and Pennsylvania navigate the adoption process. Whether pursuing an open or closed adoption, their attorneys bring extensive experience to every case, ensuring that families are protected and prepared for the journey ahead. With over 1,500 adoptions successfully handled, their team is well-versed in drafting and enforcing post-adoption contact agreements, securing finalization hearings, and managing the legal complexities that arise throughout the adoption process.

Attorney Donald C. Cofsky, a Fellow and Immediate Past President of the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys, leads the firm’s adoption and family formation practice. Their team understands that every family’s needs are unique and works closely with clients to ensure that adoption plans reflect those needs while protecting all parties involved.

To speak with an experienced adoption attorney, contact the Law Office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC online or call (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, (856) 845-2555 in Woodbury, or (215) 563-2150 in Philadelphia. Whether you are considering an open or closed adoption, experienced legal guidance can ensure that your family’s future is built on a strong and secure foundation.

Madonna Honors Her Daughters Cultural Roots

Adoption creates strong families built on love and commitment. At the same time, it often brings together people from different backgrounds, races, or cultures. For adoptive parents, raising a child from another cultural heritage involves more than providing a home. It also includes preserving the child’s connection to their roots, traditions, and identity. Maintaining a link to a child’s culture of origin can provide comfort, clarity, and confidence as they grow.

This is especially important in international and transracial adoptions, where children are often placed in families with different cultural backgrounds. Research shows that cultural identity plays a significant role in a child’s development. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, adoptees who retain strong cultural ties tend to have higher self-esteem and a better sense of belonging. When children see their culture acknowledged and celebrated at home, they feel seen, valued, and secure.

Public figures like Madonna have drawn attention to this issue. In 2017, Madonna adopted twin girls, Estere and Stella, from an orphanage in Malawi. Since then, the girls have returned to their birth country many times. In an interview with People Magazine, Madonna shared that Estere and Stella love visiting Malawi. They enjoy speaking Chichewa and connecting with local communities. Madonna described their appreciation for both their heritage and their new home. “They’ve learned, in time, that I’m their mother and nothing is going to change that,” she said, highlighting how love and cultural identity can coexist.

Bringing children back to their country of origin is one meaningful way to keep cultural ties alive. However, most adoptive families don’t have the resources or access for frequent international travel. Fortunately, there are many other ways to maintain and celebrate a child’s cultural heritage at home.

Language is one powerful tool. If the child’s first language or birth country language is known, parents can help them continue learning it. Language classes, books, music, and even cartoons in the original language can support language retention. Children don’t need to speak fluently to feel a connection, but recognizing familiar sounds or words can create a sense of comfort.

Food also plays a major role in cultural identity. Cooking traditional meals at home offers a tangible way to experience culture. Children can learn family recipes, try new flavors, and even participate in the cooking process. Meals shared together can lead to discussions about the child’s heritage and the people who share those traditions. Cooking becomes both a bonding activity and a way to reinforce identity.

Celebrating holidays and cultural events is another helpful approach. Participating in local or virtual events, parades, or community festivals allows children to see others who share their background. These events often include music, art, dance, and stories from the culture of origin. Including these traditions in the family’s annual calendar ensures they’re not forgotten. Over time, these celebrations become part of the family’s own unique rhythm.

Reading books and watching movies from the child’s country or culture of birth can also help. Children benefit from seeing characters who look like them or share similar experiences. Stories can teach history, values, and customs. They also open doors for important conversations about identity, belonging, and adoption.

Connection to community is another key factor. Families can seek out cultural organizations, support groups, or religious institutions that share the child’s background. Even in small towns, many cities offer cultural centers or meetups that welcome adoptive families. Building these relationships early creates a network of support for both the child and the parents.

Some children may eventually express a desire to learn more about their biological family. While not all adoptions allow for direct contact, others do. In open or semi-open adoptions, birth families may be known or accessible. In international adoptions, this is less common, but not impossible. When possible, respectful and age-appropriate communication with biological relatives can help children understand their story. In cases where contact isn’t possible, adoptive families can still honor biological connections through storytelling, photos, or mementos.

Parents should be prepared for questions about race, identity, and cultural differences. These conversations should start early and evolve over time. Acknowledging differences without judgment shows that culture is something to be respected and embraced. Children should know that their heritage matters. Adoptive parents can reinforce this message through open dialogue and positive reinforcement.

Studies show that children adopted across racial or cultural lines may face additional challenges, especially as they grow older. According to the Journal of Adolescent Research, transracial adoptees often face identity confusion during teenage years. However, when their adoptive families actively supported their cultural connection, these children reported stronger self-worth and lower anxiety. The more parents engage with their child’s culture early on, the more secure the child feels later in life.

While maintaining cultural connections is essential, it should never come at the expense of making the child feel out of place in their new family. Parents should aim for balance. The goal is to celebrate the child’s heritage while affirming that they are fully and unconditionally part of their adoptive family. It’s not about choosing between two identities, but learning how to hold both.

Every child’s needs and preferences will differ. Some may embrace cultural exploration with enthusiasm. Others may be more hesitant or uninterested. Parents should be guided by the child’s comfort level, while still offering opportunities to explore. With time, interest may grow. The important thing is to create an environment where culture is accessible and respected.

Support from professionals can also be helpful. Therapists, social workers, and adoption counselors often have experience helping families navigate identity issues. Talking with someone who understands adoption and cultural dynamics can benefit both parents and children. Therapy can be especially useful during transitional periods or milestones like school changes, puberty, or visits to the birth country.

Legal professionals play a vital role as well. Ensuring that the adoption process includes all proper documentation is essential, particularly for international cases. Citizenship, passports, and other legal documents must be in order to make travel or heritage connection possible. Families need legal support that goes beyond finalization. Post-adoption services, including name changes, updated birth certificates, and support with dual citizenship, are important to maintaining cultural ties.

Families may also need help navigating the legal aspects of open adoption, especially when birth families are from a different country or cultural background. Experienced legal professionals can draft agreements that respect the needs of both families while protecting the child’s best interests.

For more than 25 years, the Law Office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC has helped families build secure and lasting connections through adoption. With more than 1,500 adoption proceedings successfully handled, their team understands the importance of both legal stability and cultural continuity. Whether you are pursuing a domestic, international, or stepparent adoption, the firm can guide you through the entire process—from the home study to finalization and beyond.

Attorney Donald C. Cofsky and his team provide dedicated legal support for every type of adoption, including cases involving open agreements or international documentation. Their experience ensures that your family receives the legal foundation it needs to thrive, while also respecting the cultural background of the child you welcome into your home.

To speak with a legal professional about your adoption journey, contact the office online or call (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, (856) 845-2555 in Woodbury, NJ, or (215) 563-2150 in Philadelphia, PA. Taking this step can help you provide not only a loving home, but also a lifelong connection to the heritage that makes your child unique.

How to Navigate the Home Study Process in New Jersey Adoptions

Adopting a child is a big and exciting decision. Before you can welcome a child into your home, you’ll need to go through something called a home study. This is a required step for most adoptions in New Jersey. It helps make sure that your home is safe and ready for a child. It may sound scary, but it’s really just a way to help you prepare.

What Is a Home Study?

A home study is a review of your life and your home. It’s done by a social worker who visits you in person. They talk to you about your background, your daily life, your health, and why you want to adopt. The goal is to make sure that you can care for a child and that your home is a good place to raise one.

What Happens During the Home Study?

The home study has a few different parts:

  • Interviews: The social worker will talk with you and anyone else living in your home. If you’re married or living with a partner, they’ll be included too. You’ll talk about your childhood, your family, your job, and your plans for parenting.

  • Home Visit: The social worker will take a tour of your house or apartment. They’ll check for things like smoke alarms, safe spaces, and enough room for a child to sleep and play. You don’t need a big house—just a clean and safe one.

  • Background Checks: You’ll be asked to get fingerprinted so that the state can check your criminal record. If you’ve been in trouble in the past, it doesn’t always mean you can’t adopt, but you’ll need to explain what happened.

  • Health Records: You might have to show proof that you’re healthy enough to care for a child. This could be a letter from your doctor or a simple medical form.

  • References: You’ll need to give the names of people who know you well. They’ll write letters saying why they think you’ll be a good parent.

How Long Does It Take?

The home study process usually takes a few months. Sometimes it’s faster, and sometimes it takes longer, depending on how quickly you turn in paperwork and schedule visits. In New Jersey, the whole process can take between 2 to 6 months.

What Should I Do to Get Ready?

There are a few things you can do to prepare:

  • Tidy up your home: You don’t need to be perfect, but your home should be safe and clean.

  • Think about your parenting style: Be ready to talk about how you will raise and care for a child.

  • Be honest: Don’t try to give “perfect” answers. The social worker wants to know the real you.

  • Ask questions: If you’re unsure about something, speak up. The home study is also a chance for you to learn more.

What If I’m Nervous?

It’s normal to feel nervous! But remember, the social worker is not looking to judge you. They want to help you succeed. They’re there to make sure that children are placed in loving, stable homes. The more open and honest you are, the smoother the process will be.

What Happens After the Home Study?

Once your home study is finished, the social worker will write a report. This report will include everything they’ve learned about you, your home, and why you’re ready to adopt. This report will be shared with adoption agencies and used in court later on.

If you’re adopting through the foster care system, the home study is also used to match you with children who need families.

Why Does It Matter?

The home study is a big step in becoming a parent through adoption. It helps you get ready for the changes that are coming. It also helps protect children by making sure they’re placed in homes where they will be safe and loved.

Getting Legal Help

Adoption is a legal process, and the home study is just one part of it. It’s helpful to work with a lawyer who understands adoption laws in New Jersey. They can guide you through every step and answer your questions. A good lawyer will help you collect paperwork, prepare for court, and make sure you don’t miss anything important.

At the Law Office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, we have helped over 1,500 families grow through adoption. With more than 25 years of experience, we understand the home study process and how to make it easier for you. We can help you prepare, stay on track, and avoid delays.

If you’re thinking about adoption and want to understand the home study better, contact our office today. You can reach us online or call (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ, (856) 845-2555 in Woodbury, NJ, or (215) 563-2150 in Philadelphia, PA. We’re here to help your family take the next step.

New Policy Leaves Hundreds of U.S. Adoptive Families Waiting

Hundreds of American families are currently in limbo after China’s recent decision to end international adoptions. In August 2023, the Chinese government quietly banned all foreign adoptions, cutting off a long-standing program that, for decades, allowed thousands of children—many with disabilities—to find permanent homes with families abroad. The move, confirmed by China’s foreign ministry the following month, has left approximately 270 American families in a painful state of uncertainty.

These families had already been approved to adopt children from China when the policy abruptly changed. Many of them had been waiting for years due to pandemic-related delays that restricted travel. Now, with no path forward and no response from Chinese authorities, they are pleading for diplomatic intervention. The stakes are high—not just for the hopeful parents, but for the children, many of whom have special needs and remain in institutional care without the medical or emotional support they were expected to receive in the U.S.

International adoption from China has a long and complex history. Since 1992, more than 160,000 children have been adopted by foreign nationals, with over 82,000 placed with families in the United States, according to the U.S. State Department. China’s adoption program gained prominence during the years it enforced a strict one-child policy, which led many families to relinquish their infants, particularly girls. The policy officially ended in 2016, and the country has since begun encouraging families to have up to three children. Still, the effects of that policy linger, especially in orphanages and child welfare institutions.

In the last decade, the majority of children available for international adoption from China have been children with special needs. These children often require urgent and long-term medical care, therapies, and stable family environments—needs that are difficult to meet in institutional settings. American families, many of whom have specialized training or experience in caring for children with disabilities, have stepped forward in growing numbers to meet this need. For them, the decision to adopt from China was a deeply considered commitment to helping children who have few other options.

Now, that commitment is in jeopardy. Despite completing home studies, medical evaluations, background checks, and other steps required for international adoption, these families are unable to finalize their adoptions. Their legal processes were approved. In many cases, the children already know they were going to be adopted. Families have prepared bedrooms, collected toys, and even learned Mandarin to help their future children adjust. The sudden halt has not only caused legal uncertainty—it has also created emotional distress for both the children and the families involved.

In response, advocates are calling on the U.S. government to intervene. Earlier this year, a bipartisan group of 105 lawmakers, led by Senator Amy Klobuchar (D-MN), sent a letter urging former President Donald Trump to raise the issue in future diplomatic meetings with Chinese President Xi Jinping. Their appeal emphasized the urgency of resolving pending cases, not overturning China’s new policy on international adoptions. “It is particularly critical that these children have access to the care and support that they need—which hundreds of American families approved for adoption are willing to provide,” the letter stated.

This is not the first time elected officials have addressed the issue. In 2023, two additional letters were sent—one signed by 100 members of Congress and another by 33 state governors—urging President Biden to prioritize the matter in his meeting with President Xi. Despite this bipartisan support, the topic was not addressed when the two leaders met in Peru in November of that year.

According to the National Council For Adoption, the current effort is not a challenge to China’s sovereign right to end international adoptions. Instead, it is a plea for compassion and consistency in the cases that were already in progress. Ryan Hanlon, president of the Council, stressed that families are not asking to reopen the program—they are only seeking closure for cases that had already been legally approved. Many of these families had received official referrals and matched with children. For the families involved, it is about honoring a commitment that both governments previously recognized.

International adoptions are governed by strict legal frameworks, including the Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption, which both China and the United States have ratified. These agreements are designed to protect children from trafficking and ensure that adoption is always in the best interest of the child. But the halt in China’s program highlights a difficult truth: even within international law, politics and policy can change rapidly, leaving families in an impossible position.

For parents seeking to adopt internationally, this situation underscores the importance of strong legal support throughout the adoption process. International adoptions involve complex legal steps that span multiple countries. Any change in immigration policy, documentation, or international agreements can dramatically affect the outcome of an adoption case. In the U.S., families must comply with both state and federal adoption laws, in addition to the legal requirements of the child’s country of origin.

Those working through international adoptions also face financial burdens. Many families have already spent thousands of dollars in agency fees, legal expenses, medical evaluations, document translations, and travel preparation. When a program ends mid-process, these investments are rarely recoverable. More importantly, the emotional cost to the families and the children is immeasurable.

In recent years, international adoption has declined overall. According to the U.S. Department of State, intercountry adoptions to the United States fell from over 22,000 in 2004 to fewer than 1,800 in 2022. The reduction is due in part to stricter regulations, increased domestic adoption efforts in sending countries, and growing political sensitivities. While this trend reflects positive developments in domestic child welfare systems, it also means that children with complex medical or developmental needs have fewer opportunities for adoption.

For American families currently seeking to adopt internationally—or those considering it in the future—legal preparation and guidance remain essential. Working with professionals who understand the legal, ethical, and procedural landscape of international adoption helps mitigate risks and reduce delays. While not every challenge can be prevented, families benefit from working with a team that can help navigate the shifting dynamics of international policy.

For more than 25 years, the Law Office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC has helped guide families through the adoption process, including international and special needs adoptions. With over 1,500 adoption proceedings successfully handled, their attorneys understand the complexity and emotional weight of cases like these. Whether working with families pursuing international adoption or representing those involved in domestic or stepparent adoptions, they bring legal insight and compassionate guidance to every case.

Attorney Donald C. Cofsky is a Fellow and Immediate Past President of the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys and a charter member of the American Academy of Assisted Reproductive Technology Attorneys. His experience with both domestic and international adoptions ensures that families receive comprehensive, up-to-date legal support. The firm also assists with home studies, immigration documents, adoption expenses, and contested adoption matters.

If your family is navigating the international adoption process—or facing challenges due to policy changes—the team at Cofsky & Zeidman can help. They are committed to protecting your rights and supporting your journey to parenthood. To learn more, contact their office online or call (856) 429-5005 in Haddonfield, NJ; (856) 845-2555 in Woodbury, NJ; or (215) 563-2150 in Philadelphia, PA.

International adoption can be unpredictable, but no family should have to face it alone. Legal advocacy, diplomatic pressure, and public awareness can make a difference. With the right support, families can continue working toward the goal that started their journey: providing a loving, permanent home to a child in need.

What You Need to Know about New Jersey’s Adoption Laws

New Jersey Adoption Laws and Regulations

More than a hundred thousand children in foster care were eligible for adoption in the United States as of 2021. Whether you are looking to adopt or wishing to place a child for adoption, there are some things you’ll want to know about adoption laws in New Jersey.

What Are New Jersey’s Adoption Laws?

New Jersey has rules and regulations concerning who can adopt a child. Some of them also protect birth mothers.

Both Parents Have to Agree to the Adoption

In New Jersey, both parents (if a married couple is adopting) need to agree when looking to adopt a child. The reason is simply to ensure the child is wanted. Conversely, both parents need to agree to the adoption when giving up parental rights. The birth mother and father need to consent or waive their right to do so. If a birth father isn’t known, an adoption agency can attempt to contact potential birth fathers. They will communicate with the potential fathers to reduce stress.

When a new baby is born, the birth parents have 72 hours to consider the decision before the adoption can happen. More time can be given if necessary or requested. The purpose here is to make sure both parents wish to give the baby up for adoption.

Adoptive Families Can Help With Birth Expenses

Pregnancy and birth expenses can be covered by the adoptive family if the birth mother does not have the financial resources for such expenses. Adoptive families in New Jersey can cover pregnancy expenses starting in the fourth week. They can also cover birth costs and adoption-related costs as well if the birth mother is unable to do so. This includes legal costs if a New Jersey adoption attorney is involved.

Who Can Adopt in New Jersey?

In New Jersey, adoptive parents must be at least 18 years of age and at least 10 years older than the child they wish to adopt. Also, prospective adoptive parents need to pass a home study. This applies to both in-state adoptions and ones where the adoptive parents are from another state. A home study normally includes:

  • A visit to the adoptive parents’ home
  • Interviews with the adoptive parents
  • A criminal background check
  • Interviews with anyone else who lives in the home
  • Interviews with employers
  • Interviews with character references (which may be done by phone or in person)
  • Proof of income

These requirements apply even if the adoptive parents already have children. These laws are meant to protect the child and give the birth mother added peace of mind. The home study process also includes 27 hours of training for prospective adoptive parents. Topics covered include dealing with loss and handling basic parenting duties or responsibilities.

After a successful home study is completed, the adoptive parents must be approved by the Office of Licensing. This step involves another visit to the home by a license inspector. Approval for adoption normally occurs after a successful license inspection. If the child is not a newborn, they will have a chance to express their feelings about the potential adoption as well if they are old enough to do so. Even if a newborn is requested, it may take time for one to become available through the adoption process since this is a popular request. The state has a database of waiting children who are older and looking to be adopted.

The Adoption Agency May Have Additional Requirements

Adoption agencies in New Jersey may have, for example, an extra screening process or a more detailed one. Some agencies are religion-based, and they may limit their adoptions to traditional married couples. Other agencies are broader when it comes to who can adopt through their agency. Do some checking ahead of time to see what applies to the agencies you are considering.

Learning More About Your Birth Parents

New Jersey makes it easier for adopted children to learn more about their birth parents when they turn 18. Adopted children now have the legal right to obtain their birth certificate. New Jersey has a database for children of adopted parents to find contact information for their parents or birth mother. However, the birth mother has the right to request that they not be contacted by their child. Birth mothers or both parents can change this information if they change their minds later and wish to be contacted.

Contact Cofsky & Zeidman today to talk to a New Jersey adoption attorney for assistance with the adoption process. We have offices in Haddonfield and Woodbury.

The Latest Advances In In Vitro Fertlization

The Latest Innovations in IVF and the Challenges

The science of in vitro fertilization (IVF) continues to progress and increase success rates to above 20%. Still, many New Jersey adoption lawyers note that research could be proceeding at a much faster rate. The problem is that research is limited in the U.S. not only by old legislation but by laws that vary between states.

IVF

IVF involves a series of procedures that can lead to pregnancy. The particular series of procedures employed depends on the individuals involved and the reproductive challenges they face. The first use of IVF was in 1978. By 1991, the success rate was 8 percent. Lab and clinical advancements have increased that success rate to 22% as of 2021.

Slow Rate of Research

IVF was a heavily stigmatized area of reproductive medicine in the 1980s and 1990s. It was also highly politicized, and lawmakers based their opinions on the stigma of the time. That stigma has largely subsided in Western culture. Still, researchers are operating under those laws established more than 30 and 40 years ago. Further complicating matters in the U.S. is that those laws vary from state to state. Embryo research is only explicitly legal in five states and legal subject to limitations in 13 other states, including New Jersey.

Modern Research Shows Promise

Limited access to embryos has shifted much research to the peripheries of IVF. Some studies focus on using nutritional supplements and sound waves, for instance, to activate lethargic sperm rather than the core IVF methodologies. Scientists warn that many of these solutions make it to the marketplace with limited research. Despite that low signal-to-noise ratio, there are notable improvements in the field. One involves using artificial intelligence (AI) to select the embryos most likely to succeed. Another is in vitro gametogenesis (IVG), which can transform normal cells into reproductive cells.

AI

The use of AI to select embryos is among the most exciting frontiers of IVF. Embryo selection is currently a time-consuming and imperfect process that requires a clinical embryologist to make selections based on morphology and their individual experience. There are now AI models that greatly reduce the time required, eliminate subjectivity, and increase success rates. These models can also benefit from the collective experience of all embryologists. One of the core ethical concerns is the “black box” nature of AI and having these models select the embryos that will become children. This is certainly something we will have to work through as a society and create laws to protect against misuse.

IVG

IVG is a process through which scientists can transform somatic or “normal” cells into gametes or reproductive cells. Through IVG, it is possible to create an artificial sperm and an artificial egg and then combine them to create an embryo. It would make it possible for practically all couples to procreate, including same-sex couples. While IVG will be possible eventually, it is still in its early stages. In addition, there are some ethical concerns as well. It does, for example, open up the possibility of creating a child through the unauthorized use of genetic material.

Enhancing Success Rates

There has also been great progress in improving success rates on an individual level. The most important factors include maintaining a moderate body mass index, eating a balanced diet, taking folic acid as a supplement, and regular moderate exercise. Those trying to get pregnant should manage their stress levels. Tobacco and alcohol use is known to lower success rates. IVF experts also recommend getting vaccinated and avoiding chemicals like pesticides.

Do You Need a Reproductive Law Attorney?

If you want to expand your family through IVF, the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman encourages you to meet with an experienced lawyer. Donald Cofsky is a New Jersey adoption lawyer and a charter member of the American Academy of Assisted Reproductive Technology Attorneys. He has personally assisted more than 1,500 families, including cases involving IVF and surrogacy. To have him take a look at your situation, contact us online, or call our Haddonfield office at (856) 429-5005.

Some Information On Surrogacy Contracts

Some Information on Surrogacy Contracts

Surrogacy contracts, which are also known as gestational carrier agreements, are documents that define the rights and responsibilities of surrogate mothers and intended parents. These contracts are used for all gestational surrogacies in New Jersey, and fertility clinics will not perform surrogacy procedures unless a legally binding agreement is in place.

The New Jersey Gestational Carrier Agreement Act

New Jersey lawmakers passed the Gestational Carrier Agreement Act in 2018. Prior to this law’s passage, paid surrogacy arrangements were illegal in the Garden State. The law created strict requirements that all parties to a gestational surrogacy must meet. These requirements include:

  • The surrogate mother and intended parents must be represented by attorneys familiar with this area of the law.
  • The surrogate mother must be at least 21 years of age.
  • The surrogate mother must have given birth to at least one child before entering into the agreement.
  • The surrogate mother must undergo a thorough medical and psychological evaluation.
  • The intended parents must undergo a thorough psychological evaluation.
  • The agreement must state that the intended parents will accept custody of the child.
  • The agreement must state that the surrogate mother will allow the intended parents to accept custody of the child.

The intended parents who sign surrogacy agreements in New Jersey are usually married couples, but they do not have to be. The Gestational Carrier Agreement Act allows individuals and unmarried couples to enter into agreements with surrogate mothers, and same-sex couples have the same rights as opposite-sex couples.

Gestational and Traditional Surrogacy

The Gestational Carrier Agreement Act, which was revised in 2023, applies when the surrogate mother is compensated and undergoes in vitro fertilization procedures to become pregnant. The law does not apply when the surrogate mother’s own eggs are fertilized. Traditional surrogacies are legal in New Jersey, but the surrogate mother can only be compensated for her food, shelter and medical and counseling costs. The vast majority of surrogacies in New Jersey are gestational surrogacies.

The Importance of Qualified Legal Representation

New Jersey law requires surrogate mothers and intended parents to each be represented by a New Jersey adoption attorney when they enter into surrogacy contracts, but this would be advisable even if it were not a legal requirement. Qualified legal representation ensures that the agreement will be fair and legally enforceable and protect the rights of all parties involved. The entire process is far less stressful for intended parents and surrogate mothers when the negotiations are handled by lawyers. The provisions of a surrogacy contact should cover matters including:

  • The surrogate mother’s compensation and how that compensation will be modified if more than one egg is fertilized
  • The surrogate mother’s responsibility to maintain a healthy lifestyle during the pregnancy
  • Whether or not the intended parents will attend prenatal appointments and be present at the birth
  • The conditions that would necessitate the termination of the pregnancy

The Surrogacy Contract Procedure

Drafting a surrogacy contract should be a collaborative process. The initial draft of the contract is usually written by the attorney representing the intended parents and sent to the surrogate mother’s lawyer. The surrogate mother and her attorney will then discuss the terms of the agreement. If the surrogate mother is not happy with the agreement and proposes changes, her attorney and the intended parents’ attorney will negotiate until an agreement is reached that satisfies all parties.

Legal Advice and Representation for Intended Parents and Surrogates

If you are a New Jersey resident and plan to enter into a gestational surrogacy arrangement, you will need to abide by the provisions of the Gestational Carrier Agreement Act. This means that you will require the services of an experienced New Jersey adoption attorney. The law firm of Cofsky & Zeidman has over 25 years of experience in this area, and we are ready to answer any questions you have. You can call our Haddonfield office at (856) 429-5005, or you can use our online form to schedule a consultation.

The Different Costs Of Adoption

How Much Does Adoption Cost?

New Jersey adoption lawyers report that the typical cost of adoption in the state can be as much as $50,000 or more. For this reason, many people who want to add to their family in this manner believe that they simply cannot afford it. There are ways to achieve adoption even if one does not have thousands in the bank, however, and it often begins with finding a good attorney with extensive experience navigating the system.

Adoption Fees

There are three core types of adoption: foster adoption, domestic adoption and international adoption. Foster adoption involves the smallest amount of fees because the foster system covers most of the cost. Domestic adoption refers to adopting a child from the U.S. through an adoption agency. This will be more expensive, as there will be adoption agency fees involved. International adoption is, as the name implies, when you adopt a child from another country, typically through its foster care system. This will usually be more expensive than a domestic adoption because there will be both domestic and international fees.

Search Fees

If you want to adopt an infant, there will generally be search fees. These are paid to the adoption agency that matches you with a birth mother. If the agency is handling all aspects of the adoption, it will typically roll the fees into its overall fee. If you are pursuing an independent adoption, you will need to pay the consulting and advertising fees separately. Total fees often range from $3,000 to $7,000.

Birthing Parent Expenses

If adopting a newborn, you will be expected to cover the birthing mother’s expenses. That can include medical bills and some living expenses in addition to legal fees, travel expenses and counseling costs. This typically ranges from $6,000 to $8,000 for a private adoption.

Legal Fees

There is a lot that goes into an adoption, including filing court documents, negotiating with the birth mother and terminating the rights of the birth parent(s). What is often overlooked when it comes to legal fees is just how much money a good adoption attorney can save you overall.

Travel

Local adoptions usually have no significant travel costs associated with them. If adopting out of state, experts say travel costs can be around $3,000. If adopting internationally, experts suggest planning for between $6,000 and $9,000.

Home Study

Home study is required for all domestic adoptions in the U.S. The adopting parents must cover the costs for background checks, counseling and in-home observation.

Unexpected Adoption Fees

A common concern among people who want to adopt is unexpected fees that may come up suddenly when the process is already underway. Such fees generally only occur when dealing with people and organizations that do not have an ethical, child-centered approach. Avoiding this begins with choosing an experienced attorney who is going to have your best interests in mind. It is also important to deal with an established and reputable adoption agency. With this approach, you will know all the costs up front and not have to deal with any surprises.

Financing Adoption

While adoption can be expensive, there are ways to offset the burden. Those with limited budgets may want to consider fostering a child rather than adoption. It is often a significantly less expensive route and can even be free. There are adoption grants available in addition to the federal adoption tax credit. Active military personnel may be eligible for a one-time reimbursement. Many big companies offer employer-sponsored adoption programs as well. You should also speak with a New Jersey adoption lawyer or contact your local Social Services office to learn about local opportunities.

Would You Like to Adopt?

If you are interested in adoption, the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman would like to help. Attorney Donald Cofsky has personally helped more than 1,500 families adopt since joining the bar in 1974. To schedule an appointment, you can contact us online or call our Haddonfield office at (856) 429-5005 or our Woodbury office at (856) 845-2555.

Post-adoption Depression is Common

Post-Adoption Depression Affects Many Adoptive Parents

New Jersey adoption attorneys likely know that at least 10% of all adoptive parents will experience post-adoption depression (PAD). Some studies put the number much higher than that and at a rate even beyond what birth parents experience. Despite this, there is much less awareness about the issue, and it often takes adoptive parents by surprise.

What Is Post-Adoption Depression?

Postpartum depression (PPD) is a complex mixture of behavioral, emotional and physical changes that occurs in some parents after birth. It is often framed as a women’s problem, and while it occurs in women at a higher rate, PPD affects a great number of men as well. PAD is a very similar condition but one experienced by adoptive parents. There was at one point a stigma surrounding PPD. As a society, we had to break it down in order to increase awareness and support new parents. There are similar efforts underway for PPD. Adoptive parents who recognize their depression will often experience shame and other negative feelings that prevent them from getting the help they need.

PAD Takes Different Forms

Like PPD, PAD affects both women and men, and it manifests in many ways depending on the individual and on environmental factors. It can affect people who are in good health and have not grappled with mental conditions in the past. Common traits include anxiety, deep sadness and an inability to bond. Parents may also experience difficulty sleeping, which can exacerbate their PAD. The understanding of PAD among medical and mental health professions is still in its infancy. However, many experts believe that a leading cause is an emphasis on the child’s need to bond without an equal emphasis on the parent. Bonding is a dynamic process that does not occur overnight.

Preventing PAD

Awareness is an important first step. Many would-be parents adopt with no consideration that PAD is even a possibility. Experts recommend a mental health check prior to placement. It is important for every parent-to-be but particularly those that have experienced mental health challenges previously. Be honest with your doctor or therapist about what you have experienced in the past. Some adoption agencies are now requiring parents to identify professional and personal support individuals early in the process. Parents should attend counseling prior to the adoption process, during the adoption process and after it as well. Do not cease counseling just because you do not experience negative emotions right away. Continue until you have experienced the bonding and the family structure is firm.

Coping With PAD

Counseling will help with preparatory training and reading materials. Self-care is invaluable. A person must manage their stress, eat well, exercise regularly and set aside me time. If the PAD is severe, psychotherapy and medication may be necessary. Psychotherapy can include:

  • Interpersonal therapy
  • Nondirective counseling
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Psychodynamic psychotherapy

Your therapist may also suggest a support group. It can be invaluable to socialize with people who are going through the same kind of emotional turmoil that you are.

PAD Affects the Entire Family

Experts also encourage adoptive parents to recognize that PAD is a condition that affects the entire family. If you have one parent who experiences PAD and another who does not, that other parent will be affected. It can result in negative mental health conditions in them, and they may need counseling and other support even though they are not experiencing the PAD directly. It can affect the children, particularly older children, as well. They can sense it and may feel responsible for it. A child can experience their own depression and may take on the burden of supporting the entire family.

Would You Like Professional Assistance With an Adoption?

A good adoption attorney does much more than handle the logistics and paperwork. The right attorney will help prepare you for what may come and direct you to the resources you need. At the Law Office of Cofsky & Zeidman, attorney Donald C. Cofsky has over 25 years of experience and has helped more than 1,500 families adopt. If you would like to discuss adoption with a New Jersey adoption attorney, call our main Haddonfield office at (856) 845-2555, or contact us online.

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