How to Choose an Adoptive Family

If you’re one of the 18,000 biological parents interested in placing your child with an adoptive family, finding the right family is essential. Your choice will impact your pregnancy, the child’s future, and your potential relationship with the child. To find the perfect family for you and the child’s needs, you’ll need to carefully consider these factors.

Think About Your Main Goals

There are far more adoptive families available than there are children up for adoption, so all the different options to choose from can be overwhelming. Many biological parents find it helpful to narrow down their choices a little before they start looking at family profiles. You may want to ask yourself the following questions when deciding how to pick adoptive parents:

• Do you want an open adoption where you hear more about the child over the years or a closed adoption with no contact?
• Would you prefer that your child have siblings, and does it matter if their siblings were adopted or not?
• Are you interested in a rural or urban upbringing for your child?
• Does it matter what religion, if any, the adoptive parents follow?
• Would you prefer the adoptive family to be of the same race as the child’s biological parents?
• How financially secure do you want the family to be?

Talk to Adoption Professionals

The majority of voluntary adoptions are done through private adoption agencies. However, you can also arrange an adoption privately or go through your local Department of Children and Families agency. Whatever adoption method you choose, it’s a good idea to speak to professionals. They can put you in touch with prospective families and assist with communication. Often, their help makes it much easier to sort through all the different offers you’ll have.

Look at Profiles for Prospective Families

Every family who wants to adopt will put together a profile that tells you a little about who they are and why they want to adopt. When working with an agency, they’ll often go through their database and pull profiles for couples who meet your criteria. Take your time when looking through these and try to consider what it will be like for the child to grow up with the family. There is no wrong way to pick profiles you’re interested in. Some biological parents pick people with personalities that they feel instantly drawn to while others try to analytically decide based on who can provide the child with the most advantageous childhood.

Meet With Families You’re Interested In

Though you don’t have to be involved, many biological parents prefer to interview prospective couples in person, on the phone, or over email. Meeting with them can help you see whether you have rapport and decide whether they’re a good fit. Meeting families won’t come with any obligation. If you decide that they’re not a good fit, you can just ask your New Jersey adoption attorney to tell the family that you’ve found someone else.

Discuss Your Terms

After you find a couple who seems like good parents for the child, it will be time to finalize your agreement. Adoption agreements are all about defining what you feel comfortable with and what will be best for the child. Your adoption lawyer can help create a contract that clearly lists details such as:

• How the adoptive family will reimburse you for medical expenses
• Who is allowed to be present during labor or doctor’s visits
• How much contact you will have with the child
• What updates the adoptive family will provide you with
• How you will contact the adoptive family

If you’re considering adoption, Cofsky & Zeidman are here to help. Our New Jersey adoption attorney can represent your interests and assist you with navigating the legal system. You can count on us to make the process as smooth and stress-free as possible. To learn more about your options, give our Haddonfield office a call at 856-429-5005 or fill out our contact form.