Archives for February 2021

6 Tips to Help Kids Adjust When Welcoming an Adopted Sibling

6 Tips for Parents to Help Kids Adjust to Adoption

Approximately 135,000 adoptions take place in the United States every year. Welcoming a child by adoption can be a rewarding yet challenging experience, especially when there are already children in the household. Adoptive parents will be glad to know there are several helpful tips to keep in mind that can help kids through this time of transition.

How to Help During the Adjustment Period

An adopted child and his or her new brothers and sisters may go through a period of adjustment that has its ups and downs. Learning to relate to each other as well as observing and acknowledging the relationship each child has with his or her parents, takes time and may present challenges. To not only encourage emotional support between siblings and a newly adopted child, but also to help you remind the kids who are already in your home that they are loved, you should:

 

• Involve children at home in the family law process.
• Help kids set realistic expectations.
• Join a family support group.
• Spend one-on-one time with each child.
• Have a plan in place so that kids know what to do if they feel troubled.
• Reach out for additional support as needed.

 

In a perfect world, every child by adoption and his or her new siblings would adapt to the changes in their lives without any problems arising. In reality, it’s natural for every person in a family to process a vast range of emotions when an adoption has taken place. Depending on each child’s age, level of maturity and past life experiences, welcoming a new sibling or adjusting to being the new sibling in a family can spark feelings of uncertainty, confusion, anxiety and worry.

Children Adapt More Easily When They Are Part of the Process

Before your adopted child joins your family at home, there will undoubtedly be months of preparation ahead of time. This may include meetings with a New Jersey adoption attorney as well as getting a bedroom ready at home or even shopping for a welcome gift for your new son or daughter. Involving your at-home children in the process can make the overall situation more personal to them, which can help them more easily adjust to the changes in their life.

Let Your Kids Know There May Be Bumps in the Road

Adapting to a new family and lifestyle may not be all smooth sailing, especially if your adopted child has experienced trauma in his or her past. It’s helpful to talk about expectations with your new son or daughter and your children at home. If kids understand that there will naturally be some days that are better than others, they’ll be less likely to have adjustment problems.

Learn from Other Families’ Experiences

It’s not uncommon for kids at home to feel left out or worry that their parents don’t love them as much as their newly adopted sibling. Children who enter a family by adoption may experience similar anxiety. Joining a community support group for families who adopt can be quite helpful. When kids hear other people sharing experiences to which they can relate, it helps them to not feel alone. It’s also a good idea to verbally remind each child that he or she is loved.

Private Time With Parents Helps Kids Adjust

Life is busy, and you have many obligations to fulfill. If you can set aside a bit of time to spend one on one with each of your children, it provides a safe and confidential setting for them to share their thoughts. A child often feels comfortable sharing his or her heart while riding in a car, for instance, or taking a walk with a parent while no other family members are present. It is also an opportunity for you and each of your children to have fun together apart from the whole family.

Kids Need to Know They Can Come to You for Help

Welcoming an adopted child into a family is a joyful time. It helps kids to adjust if they know what to do if problems arise. Have a plan in place so that a child knows what to do if something is making him or her feel uncomfortable, upset or angry. This is particularly helpful if your children spend any amount of time at home without an adult present. Make sure each child has a way to get in touch with a parent immediately if a problem arises.

Tap Into Local Resources for Additional Support

Always reach out for assistance if things aren’t going well. For legal problems, you can schedule a meeting with a Haddonfield, New Jersey adoption attorney by calling Cofsky & Zeidman at (856) 429-5005 or contacting us online.

How to Know When You’re Ready to Adopt a Child

Are You Ready to Adopt a Child?

Adoption is a common procedure in America. One out of every 25 families in the US have adopted a child, and 7 million Americans are adopted. More than 140,000 American children are adopted each year.

Benefits of Adopting a Child

You’re not alone if you’re considering adopting a child right now. There can be many benefits to both you and an adopted child if you go through the procedure, some of which include:

• The joy of raising a child
• The fulfillment of giving a child a family
• A sibling for an existing child
• Knowing that you helped another person

Adoption is a huge change, however. You may not know if you’re ready to make a move just yet. These are seven questions you can ask yourself if you’re still on the fence about it.

1. Am I Financially Stable?

The first thing you’ll need to consider when thinking about adopting a child is whether you have the financial stability to do so. You’ll be responsible for clothing, food, school supplies, medical bills, recreational activities, sports equipment and the like. You may want to calculate your income and deduct your possible expenses to see where you stand financially. It’s best to adopt if you’re living comfortably enough to raise an additional child without financial stress.

2. Can I Dedicate My Time?

Another aspect of adoption you must consider is the time you’ll need to spend with your adopted child. The adopted child will need lots of nurturing and attention from you. Consider your work life and other obligations to ensure that you will have an adequate amount of time to spend with your adoptive child if you receive approval.

3. Will I Qualify for Adoption?

You’ll have to go through a qualification process and meet certain adoption requirements if you want to adopt a child in New Jersey. You must be at least 18 years of age and at least 10 years older than the child you’re considering adopting. You must also have adequate space in your home and all the essentials that a child would need to grow healthily. You will have to participate in a home study program with a licensed agency representative to ensure that your home arrangements are sufficient and your family functions well.

4. Do I Have Child Care?

Think about the support system you will have for a new child. You will need to have someone around who can pick your adopted child up from school or take him or her to important events when you can’t. It’s also good to have supportive people around your family who will be a part of your adopted son or daughter’s life.

5. Will I Be Happy Adopting?

Adoption is a lifelong commitment. Therefore, you have to be ready and willing to commit yourself to loving another human being for the duration. Make sure you’re ready to make that kind of commitment. Think about getting a pet or taking a family member’s child into your home for a month. If you can handle that situation, then it’s likely that you’re ready for adoption.

6. Will My Existing Children Adjust?

Talk to your existing children to gauge how they’d feel if you were to adopt another child. Will they feel slighted, or will they be happy to have another child in the home? You must address these issues before you make the adoption decision.

7. Can I Handle a Special Needs Child?

You may end up adopting a child who has special needs. The adoptive child may also have mental health issues that need attention. Ensure that you have the strength, resilience and resources to be a wonderful parent in those circumstances.

You can decide after you’ve considered all the factors above. The next step is to start the process.

Request Adoption Assistance From an Attorney

Now, you can decide whether you want to bring a new person into your family. Be sure to speak to an experienced New Jersey adoption lawyer about your wishes. Cofsky & Zeidman can help you with the entire process of adoption from the beginning to the end. Donald Cofsky has decades of experience in family law and is a former president of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. The firm is conveniently located in Woodbury, NJ, and you can reach someone by calling (856) 845-2555. You can also complete a brief online inquiry and request the assistance of a New Jersey adoption lawyer.

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