Archives for March 2020

Corona Virus (COVID-19) and Family Formation Through Assisted Reproduction Technology

With this virus spreading throughout the United States and the world, all parties involved in or considering getting involved in family formation through assisted reproduction technology are seeking advice. We already know that travel is being restricted, and for the current time banned internationally from many countries. These travel restrictions as well as those involving quarantines could interfere with using a Gestational Carrier or even preventing Intended Parents from attending the birth of their child or children. These same restrictions may also present problems or delays for medical procedures or screenings which have been scheduled and which involve Gestational Carriers or Donors. With this in mind timing and travel arrangements should be examined very carefully and plans made accordingly.

One of the things to be considered would be to arrange for a temporary guardian of any child who is to be born through an ART arrangement in the event that the Intended Parents cannot travel. This would include a written document as well as a Medical Power of Attorney for the temporary guardian to use.

It is essential that everyone keep up to date with regard to precautions to be taken. This information is being given to the public many times each day and is being constantly updated. More information is available on the website of the CDC at www.cdc.gov/coronaviras/2019/ncov/index.html. Additional information may also be found on the website of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine at www.asrm.org or call me, Donald Cofsky, Esq, to discuss. (856) 429-5005.

 

Helping Your Adopted Child Adjust to Their New Home

How to Help Your Adopted Child Adjust

In New Jersey, the average stay in foster care is 2.9 years. A long-term stay in foster care makes it more difficult for a child to adjust when they’ve been adopted. A child may have fears of being sent back, so it’s important you know how to help your adopted child adjust to their new environment when you bring them home.

Make Sure Your Home Is Prepared for the Big Day

You’ll want to fully stock the refrigerator and prepare your child’s room for them before the big day. This will help them feel safe and reduce their stress in the transition when everything is already prepared for them. Also, buy all of the necessities your new child will need, such as shampoo, toothpaste, soap, and other personal items.

If you’re still going through the adoption process, consult with our NJ adoption lawyer to ensure your rights are protected. Some adoptive parents have experienced trouble with the birth parents. You want to make sure you’re legally secure to keep a calm, safe environment for the child. Even after the adoption, you can consult with an adoption lawyer to ensure legal issues go as smoothly as possible.

Big Celebrations Aren’t Recommended

It can be overwhelming for your child’s first day in his or her new home to include all of your relatives and friends. Adoption professionals recommend keeping this initial celebration between just you and any of the family members who live in the house. Once your adopted child is adjusted, you can allow others to participate in the celebration if you choose to celebrate their adoption day.

Focus on Your New Child the First Few Months


As some experts have explained, it’s important to treat adopting a child the same as bringing home a newborn for the first time. You must limit socialization with others during the initial transition period to focus on bonding with your new son or daughter. This helps the transition to go more smoothly.

Schedule a Doctor’s Appointment

Around two weeks after your child has had time to settle in, schedule a doctor’s appointment for them. This allows them to get to know the doctor and shows them that you’ll be a good parent who cares about their health.

Avoid Going Out When Possible

Young children will feel overwhelmed if they’re taken out in public often during transitioning into a new home. This is especially true if others touch them or interact with them. Stay at home with your new child as much as possible the first one to two months.

Stick to Routines

Routines are essential for raising children who feel safe and secure. Children need reassurance that their needs will be met in order to develop trust in their parents. By feeding them at the same time every day and giving them a bedtime, they have reassurance that you’re meeting their needs consistently. A bedtime is also important in helping them fall asleep easier. Establishing a time for bathing for young children should be another part of your routine.

Save Breaking Bad Habits for After the Transition Period

Don’t worry about addressing bad habits your child may have, such as thumb sucking, during the transition period. Wait until your child has adjusted to your home to avoid overwhelming them. You want to make sure your son or daughter knows they’re loved and safe with you. If your child is older and you feel concerned about them, you can ask them how they’re feeling and let them know you’re there if they need to talk. You can also ask your son or daughter if there’s anything that would help them feel safe.

Forgive Yourself When You Make Mistakes

Parents want to do everything right for their children, and there’s nothing wrong with that desire. However, you shouldn’t beat yourself up over mistakes. Acknowledge the mistake and ask yourself how you can avoid repeating it and how you can do better next time a similar situation arises. This is a productive way of responding to your missteps. It’s also OK to apologize to your child if you’ve made a mistake. They’ll respect you and learn that people apologize when they’ve made a mistake.

Helping your adopted child adjust is about showing them that they trust you to take care of them. It’s a private time between you and your child, so limit outside interactions for a month or two. Once your son or daughter has adjusted to their new environment, you can introduce them to other family members and take them out for fun activities.

Contact our NJ adoption lawyer at Cofsky & Zeidman today. You can reach us in Haddonfield at (856) 429-5005 or in Woodbury at (856) 845-2555 to go over the legal aspects of your adoption.

Preparing Your Home Before an Adoption

How to Prepare a Home for an Adopted Child

Research has found that up to 20% of all domestic adoptions fail. If an adoption doesn’t work out, it can have a profound impact both on you and on the child who was supposed to come into your life. Let’s look at some ways that you can maximize the chances of a successful adoption.

Have Your Home Inspected and Cleaned

If your new son or daughter has allergies, it is important to have your home checked for mold or other substances that could exacerbate those issues. An inspection could also reveal dirty ducts or HVAC equipment that needs to be cleaned so that it doesn’t spew dust or pollen into the air. If you have carpets or rugs, make sure that they are professionally cleaned to get rid of dirt, pollen or other particles that may be trapped in the fibers.

Will Your Child and Your Pet Happily Coexist?

While you may consider your cat or dog to be a part of your family, the needs of the child trump the needs of your pet. If your child is allergic to animals, it may be necessary to have the pet placed into another home. The same is true if the animal is timid, shy or aggressive around children.

While it may feel as if you are turning your back on a loyal companion, the last thing that you want is to put either the animal or your child in danger. Our NJ adoption attorney might be able to provide more insight into what to do if your child and pet don’t get along. In some cases, additional obedience training for your pet might lead to positive interactions.

Where Will Your Child Sleep?

It is critical that your child have a place of his or her own to sleep at night. In some cases, your child will be able to simply occupy the empty bedroom down the hall from yours. However, you may have to consider moving your home office to the basement or garage to make room for the child.

If you don’t have any spare rooms, you may be able to remodel your home to accommodate the new addition to your family. The attic or basement could be converted to a bedroom that meets your child’s needs. In the event that you are adopting an older child or a teen, you will want to create a space that affords him or her as much privacy as possible.

How Will You Guard Against Potential Security Risks?

You generally won’t be considered at fault if someone breaks into your home in the middle of the night. However, it doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t take steps to protect your child from as many dangers as possible. You may want to consider installing an alarm system or adopting a large animal that can help keep your youngster safe in the event of a home intrusion.

It can also be worthwhile to buy new locks for your garage door or any other doors that lead directly into the home. For maximum security, look for products that require recognition of a fingerprint or entering a series of numbers before the door will open.

Get Rid of Outdoor Hazards

In addition to getting rid of hazards that may exist inside the home, you will need to also remove potential hazards that exist outside of it. For example, trees that are dead or dying could potentially topple over onto your house. Insects, rodents and other pests could hide in tall grasses, which can make them difficult for a child to see while playing in the yard. Finally, be sure to eliminate nails, scrap metal or anything else that could poke or puncture your child.

If you are looking for the legal representation of a conscientious NJ adoption attorney, feel free to contact Cofsky & Zeidman in Haddonfield, NJ, at (856) 429-5005. You can also contact our office in Woodbury, NJ, by dialing (856) 845-2555, and it is possible to reach our firm online, too.

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