Archives for March 2017

Remember when the child you adopted was an infant, newly into your home. Every day was filled with wonder and discovery, every moment seemed to bring a new level of joy and fulfillment.

Now that child has grown into a teenager, and everything seems off kilter. All the happy times from the first 10-12 years of your life together seem to have disappeared, almost as if they never happened. Your child is distant, sullen, angry, withdrawn or even intentionally disrespectful or misbehaving. What can you do?

First, join the crowd!! Whether you are the parent of an adoptee or a biological child, you have to expect challenging behavior during your child’s teen years. Their brains are still developing, and the part of their brain that involves controlling impulses, making good judgments and engaging in logical reasoning is not fully developed. Other cognitive functions, such as critical thinking, empathy and understanding social cues, are also in flux.

There are, however, some very concrete steps you can take to help your adopted child through these years:

• Participate with them in taking measured and positive risks—One of the scariest and most frustrating aspects of being a teen is being exposed to adult responsibilities and risks for the first time. Regardless of how mature and well-adjusted your child is, they are still doing it for the first time. If you are there to help them, it won’t be so unnerving.
• Take responsibility for exposing your children to a broad spectrum of cultural, social and physical activities—Your tendency can be hands off, but your kids will appreciate that you cared enough to take them to concerts, movies and other events. And don’t be put off if you ask what they want to do and they say I don’t know, or I don’t care. They are probably giving the most honest answer they know how to give.
• Pay attention for problems in school or in social settings—Your child may need some assistance or may simply use academics as a place to either get attention or act out.
• Let your children be involved in decision-making—Be prepared for initial hesitancy or ambivalence. Your kids may be trying to figure out what you want to do, or they may still be discovering what they love to do. They don’t get to make all the decisions, and you always have absolute veto power, but the more you involve them, the more they will come to understand that their interests matter.

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Are you interested in adopting a child with special needs? The process and the outcome may differ significantly from the adoption of a child without special needs. Here are the steps to take to give yourself the best chance for success:

• Work with an agency that specializes in this type of adoption—Don’t work with an agency that hasn’t done special needs adoption. They may not know everything that needs to be done to protect your interests.
• Learn as much as you can about the adoption process itself—How long will it take? What will it cost? How will you be matched with a child? Utilize online resources, seek out support groups and consult the extensive literature available to you.
• Put together a dossier—You’ll want to gather all information and documents that will be required, including tax returns, pictures of family members, health records and even a criminal background check, if you have one.
• Prepare and submit your application—This is the critical moment. Be sure you want to adopt a special needs child. It has the potential to be extremely rewarding, but it can also be a lot of work and can end in heartbreak.
• Wait—Unfortunately, this is a part of the process. Once you’ve submitted your application, you’ll have to wait for what adoption professionals call a “referral,” the identification and designation of a specific child available for you to adopt.
• Prepare to travel—If you are adopting internationally, you will likely be required to go to the country of origin for some period of time. If you are adopting domestically, you may be required to travel to the child’s location to complete the adoption process.

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

If you are contemplating adopting a child, either to start or build a family, you want to take some time before you get too far into the process to determine if it’s the right step for you. Here are some ways you can be more certain you’re doing the right thing.

• Educate yourself—There are lots of adoption websites, social media sites and support groups, as well as many books. Take the time to talk with others who have adopted, and be sure to ask them about the challenges as well as the benefits. It can also be beneficial to schedule a few interviews with adoption agencies. Be willing to ask them the difficult questions—how much will it cost, how long will it take and what are the chances it won’t happen.
• Consider your options—The adoption process can be complex—you have to choose between an international and a domestic adoption, between a private and an agency adoption, between an open or a closed adoption. Learn the differences and ask yourself what will be best for you and your family.
• Put together a plan to pay for the adoption and the costs of raising the child—Whether you are adopting domestically or internationally, you can expect to spend a minimum of $10,000 in most cases. You want to know in advance where you’ll get the money. Look for grants from church groups, family and friends, if necessary. The National Adoption Foundation also offers unsecured loans in some situations.

Know why you want to adopt—Adoption is for life and it’s through good times and bad times. Don’t adopt to save your marriage and don’t adopt to “rescue” a child. Adopt because you want to build and maintain a strong family unit.

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.