The Importance of Counseling in the Adoption Process
An adoption is a monumental event in the lives of the child, the birthparents and the adoptive parents. It’s not a decision to be made lightly, and probably not a process to experience without some form of counseling.
Counseling for Adoptive Parents
Many adoptive parents, unfortunately, fail to perceive that some form of counseling prior to, during and even after an adoption may be extremely helpful. A lot will simply say that they want to have a family, can’t do so biologically, so this is what they must do. But a number of unanswered questions can remain:
- Have you grieved your inability to have children biologically? For many women, this involves a tremendous sense of loss. If you don’t take the time to fully grieve that loss, you will still feel it when you bring home your adopted child. This can have negative consequences. You may see your adopted child as less than what you might have had biologically. You may even convey to your child the sense that they are something you settled for.
- Do you have a healthy relationship with your spouse? Far too many children are brought into the world and into homes because parents believe they will solve marital problems. They don’t. Most of the time, they only elevate the tensions.
- Do you or your spouse have other emotional or psychological problems that will negatively affect the child? Everyone has issues, but if your spouse is abusive or you have substance abuse problems, bringing a child in won’t help.
Counseling for Biological Parents
The decision to give up a child for adoption can have a devastating effect on a parent. A birthparent can benefit immensely from a structured counseling program that helps them identify where they’ve been, where they are headed, and how to move toward a more fulfilling life. It is common throughout the process of an adoption for a birth mother to have conflicting sentiments—the desire to do what’s best for the unborn child, and the desire not to “abandon” the child. A professional counselor can help a birthmother objectively view the situation and put all her feeling in perspective.
Contact Adoption Attorneys Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC
At the law office of Cofsky & Zeidman, LLC, our lawyers bring more than 25 years of experience to every matter we handle. Attorney Donald C. Cofsky has personally handled more than 1,500 adoption proceedings since joining the bar in 1974. Attorney Bruce D. Zeidman has protected the interests of clients in state and federal courts in New Jersey and Pennsylvania since 1984. We understand the challenges you face, and can help you identify all your options so that you can make good decisions that are in your best long-term interests.