Archives for November 2016

It’s an unfortunate reality of life that, as an adopted parent, you can do everything right to raise a healthy and well-adjusted child, and your child may still struggle with issues specifically related to being adopted. Every person reacts differently to the circumstances in their lives and you simply can’t control how others, including your adopted child, will interpret events. Nonetheless, here are some typical long-term challenges faced by adoptees and some strategies for addressing them.

The Challenges

It’s not uncommon for an adopted child to hang on to feelings of grief—grief for their own loss of relationship with biological family members, and grief for their biological family’s loss. Many adopted children carry a long term challenge with sense of identity, particularly those who’ve had no contact with their biological parents. There are also self-esteem issues tied to a sense of abandonment, and there can be intense feelings of guilt when adopted children want to learn more about their biological parents.

Your Best Response

There is no one response that’s going to work with every adopted child, but here are some ways that you can build healthy emotional relationships with your adopted child:

• Empathize—try to put yourself in your child’s shoes, and understand how they might be feeling
• Be consistent—Your child will come to trust you more if you are predictable, and will be more willing to be open about challenges or problems
• Be there—As often as possible, be emotionally available for your child
• Don’t take things personally—Your child isn’t doing anything a biological child wouldn’t do

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.

When your child hits the age of 13, a lot of things can change…the rapid physical and hormonal growth will literally make your child a different person. That applies for adopted children as well as biological children. Your adopted teenager will need parental supervision and emotional guidance just as much, if not more, at 15 as at five. The teenaged years see a lot of changes in the brain, and tend to be when people develop lifelong skills in reasoning, control and judgment. Here are some things you can do to help your adopted kids through this difficult time.

• Encourage your child to take healthy risks—If your child doesn’t learn to take risks now, it will be even more difficult for them to do so as adults. But you want the risks to be safe. Encourage them to take up a musical instrument, try a new sport, or go on a chaperoned trip.
• Allow your child to make decisions—The more decisions you make for your child, the less they’ll be able to make their own decisions when the time comes. Ask your child to be engaged in planning—meals, activities, clothes, classes—but be there to talk to them when they may be inclined to make decisions that could have long-term negative repercussions.
• Let your child see the world—Expose them to different cultural, social and physical activities, but always do so in a way that’s safe for everyone involved.
• Set boundaries—It’s essential to establish limits on activities, from television and devices to food and alone time
• Seek professional assistance when something is out of your comfort zone—If your child is having emotional or developmental challenges and you don’t feel equipped to handle it, look to a professional.

Contact Our Office

To set up an appointment, call us in Haddonfield at 856-429-5005 or in Woodbury at 856-845-2555. We can also be reached in Philadelphia at 215-563-2150 or by e-mail. For clients with personal injury or workers’ compensation claims, we offer a free initial consultation, and will represent you on a contingency basis, only charging attorney fees if we recover compensation for you.

Our offices are open weekdays between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Weekend and evening appointments may be arranged upon request. We will also come to your home or the hospital, if necessary.